Sandra Dick: Be stupid but be alive to laugh later

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I’ve done some quite stupid things in my time. There was the time when my pal and I thought it would be fun to go hillwalking in Glencoe and set off for the hills in the middle of the night wearing T-shirts, sandals and equipped with bottles of vodka.

Obviously we didn’t get any further than the Clachaig Inn. We woke around mid afternoon next day in some random person’s empty caravan, heads exploding, wondering where the car was and, come to think of it, did we bring the car?

Then there was an unfortunate skinny dipping incident at Aberdour which still gives me terrifying flashbacks and a lifelong fear of jelly fish. Hilarious at the time, but then at the time I was unable to chew my own fingers and everything seems hilarious when your brain is pickled in rum.

A bit daft, but pretty tame really.

Indeed incredibly innocent compared to the exploits at the weekend of one @zeeeewilly, a quite pretty (according to her Twitter profile picture) 18-year-old from Midlothian, who celebrated passing three Highers by heading to Kavos and visiting the local tattoo parlour.

In reference to a Vine which had gone viral earlier in which a rather dim looking teen sits in a car and announces “I’m in me mam’s car, vroom vroom”, to which her mum replies “Get out me car” – I know, totes hilarious – @zeeeewilly came up with a brilliant idea for an ink job.

Decorum and decency – which seem to have rather escaped our heroine – prevent me from delivering the precise details of this spectacularly awful tattoo. All I can say is it appears in an intimate place, misquotes the mum by replacing the word ‘car’ with a vulgar reference to female private parts and, naturally, includes a mis-spelled f-word.

I know this because it appeared on the massive Buzzfeed website, viewed by millions, most of whom responded to it in fairly derogatory terms.

Trouble is, a quick view of the lady in question’s twitter feed reveals a staggeringly worrying insight into this modern young woman’s mind. Clearly incredibly bright and more than capable of delivering a brilliant one-liner that many Fringe comedians would kill for, our tattooed lady’s statements lunge from hangover to bottles of vodka, takeaways, A&E departments, sex, then back again. The tattoo appears to be the very least of her worries.

We all do daft things in our teenage years, indeed, it’s the daft things we do when we’re young that help us become wiser and more understanding adults. The key, kids, is making sure you are actually still alive in years to come, to be able to look back on it all and cringe.