Suan Morrison: Scotland could be a land of milk and honey

There are so many wing-borne comrades about that I wonder if here is a hive nearby. I recently listened to a fascinating programme about New Zealand's Manuka honey.

Friday, 11th May 2018, 7:00 am
Manuka honey: Is it the secret of the All Blacks rugby success?

This stuff is more valuable than North Sea Oil. Admittedly, quite a lot of things are more valuable than North Sea oil right now, but which would you rather spread on your toast?

Manuka honey is reportedly full of all sorts of amazing stuff and turns people into near-superheroes, which I can quite believe, because everyone I ever meet from New Zealand is massively hale, hearty and ridiculously healthy. In evidence, I present the All Blacks stomping gleefully over the England squad at any rugby game.

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That honey has something to do with it, I tell you. It is the secret source of their power, like Dr Jekyll’s mysterious potion. Yes, I know, Mr Hyde isn’t exactly Gentleman of the Year, but he looks like the sort of lad that can open pickle jars, which is more than can be said for the weedy doctor.

So, here’s my thinking, here in Leith we could be at the dawn of a new bee-based economy.

One day, we could create our own Shore Superhoney, which we could forcefeed to our rugby team and watch them crush everything in their path. Particularly at Twickenham.

So, next time you have a bee on the premises, get the glass and double-glazing junk mail and set that worker free to build our future land of milk and honey. We can figure out a milk substitute for the lactose intolerant.