Susan Dalgety: Unlucky millennials? You have to be kidding

Rejoice! The Spice Girls are reforming. Picture: Richard Young/Rex/Shutterstock

This self-identified “unlucky” generation can’t afford to buy a flat unless the bank of mum and dad helps out. Their degree doesn’t guarantee them a fabulous job in tech or musical theatre. And it seems they will have to carry the burden of paying for my generation’s state pension and health care.

It is no use reminding them that, back in the day, mortgage rates hit a high of 15 per cent, not everyone got a place at university, and worse, there was no Instagram or Snapchat. And definitely no pouting selfies.

We took our out-of-focus holiday snaps to the local chemists for printing, and usually collected them a few days before next year’s holiday – which was likely to be a long weekend in Blackpool. Snowboarding in Bulgaria was not a thing in 1983.

I get that young people are facing an uncertain future, what with climate change, Donald Trump and Brexit. But we oldies had the threat of nuclear war hanging over us for much of our formative years, we had Maggie Thatcher for 11 very long years, and there was no Primark.

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So pull up your big girl’s knickers millennials and get on with building the future, after all it is yours.

The generation I feel sorry for is the just about managing one. The men and women aged between 35 and 50 who are working hard just to keep their family afloat.

They came of age in the halcyon decade, between 1995 and 2005, when Britain experienced a period of unparalleled growth. Then, the future looked bright for everyone. Our wallets and designer handbags bulged with credit cards, there was historic investment in public services, and it was the Spice Girls, not Ed Sheeran, who were top of the pops. Things really had got better.

Until the great crash of 2008. Since then the Spice Girls generation have seen their wages stagnate, dropping to 10 per cent lower than they were in 2007, while the cost of bringing up a family continues to rise.

Childcare gobbles up the family budget – a part-time nursery place for a child under two is around £111 per week, according to the Family and Childcare Trust.

Parents have no time to themselves, as well as no cash. Weekdays are a blur of school runs, homework, laundry, cooking and after-school clubs, oh, and they have to squeeze work in there too.

As for weekends, they can only look on with envy at the millennials – and oldies – enjoying their regular brunches of smashed avocado on artisan toasted bread, washed down with a craft beer or two. The Spice Girls generation will spend their weekends driving their kids from ballet, to swimming, on to football, and back again. Their ideal Saturday night is Strictly and a bottle of special-offer Prosecco.

They go to bed exhausted, wake up exhausted, and even if they can afford an annual holiday, it will probably involve Mickey Mouse or a water park. No snowboarding in Bulgaria for them.

And they will have to work until they are at least 68, by which time they will be so tired all they will want to do is sleep.

On the day terrible Theresa May became Prime Minister she made a promise to Britain’s just about managing families.

“I know you’re working around the clock, I know you’re doing your best, and I know that sometimes life can be a struggle,” she said before going on to promise them heaven on earth.

I am sure she meant it at the time, but the harsh reality is that the Spice Girls generation, those hard-working families who are the backbone of our nation, have been let down by everyone.

Except by Posh, Mel B and C, Geri and Baby. Social media exploded a few days ago with the news that the Spice Girls are exploring “some incredible new opportunities together”.

All the just about managing generation need now is for Liam and Noel Gallagher to kiss and make up, and their world will suddenly feel a much better place.

At least until the final chorus of Live Forever.