Should any of you be planning a quick trip to an MRI machine, here’s a handy user guide.
Prepare to be impressed. This is a very fancy machine, and the NHS bought it just for you. When I stood in front of it in that natty gown and my socks, I felt totally unworthy of this investment and vowed to be a better Girl Guide in future.
Get yourself a radiologist called Laura. She is brilliant. Other radiologists are available, and I haven’t tried them all yet, but this one is good.
Don’t have a fight with your husband about having to take your wedding ring off and then ask the radiologist to back you up. They are professionals. They cannot lie. I was wrong, he was right. It can stay on.
Cheer yourself up by humming the theme to ‘Thunderbirds’ as you go into the machine. It’s pointless, but fun.
This one is important. Do not fall asleep, which I managed to do, despite the racket.
When the machine moved to get me out at the end of the session, I didn’t realise it was all over and I screamed like a panicked cat.
Not a good look, or sound.