Talk of the Town: Mark’s setting his sights on big game

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GOALKEEPERS more than most in the beautiful game have to keep their eye on the ball.

So Hibs fans will be pleased to hear stopper Mark Brown is making sure his sight is in good working order ahead of the big match a week on Saturday.

He’s visiting Marchmont Opticians this afternoon along with teammate James McPake and Hearts reserve goalie Mark Ridgers.

The referee who awarded Hibs’ fourth goal against Dunfermline on Monday night might also want to drop by.

Welsh’s transatlantic take on Trainspotting

THERE’S no doubt it’s quintessentially Leith. But Irvine Welsh reckons Trainspotting can translate to an American audience.

The author, who now lives in Chicago, has penned a US stage version of his bestselling novel which went on to become a smash-hit film.

The hard-hitting tale of drugs and desolation has been transferred to affluent Kansas City.

Welsh has even cleaned up the language and killed off Begbie.

Co-writer Tom Mullen reveals: “Sick Boy is the mastermind, but instead of going down to London and being ripped off in a drug deal, they fly to Tijuana in Mexico.”

But, for us, the response to “Whit youse two talkin’ aboot?” can never be “soccer”.

Brie one of the crowd

CHEESE is often the first word that springs to mind upon the playing of a national anthem.

The British Cheese Board has therefore decided that the national treasure that is cheddar needs an anthem all of its own.

It’s inviting choirs, singing groups, budding songwriters and cheddar enthusiasts to pen their very own ode, with original lyrics set to the patriotic tunes of either God Save the Queen, Land of Hope and Glory or Jerusalem.

We’ll kick things off with “God Save our Grated Cheese . . .”

But perhaps that doesn’t quite cut it.

Monarchical mix-up

STAYING with Liz, it seems the next generation of loyal subjects isn’t quite as clued up as one might expect them to be.

In a survey by Micro Scooters UK to launch its new Union Jack Scooters, it was revealed 39 per cent of children aged five or under reckon the Queen’s husband is called Union Jack.

Meanwhile, nearly half – 47 per cent – said they thought Prince Edward was a potato.

Which proves there’s hope for the nation’s young yet.