Why I’ve decided to try to help my alcoholic mum – Hayley Matthews

I have to thank people for all the messages about my mum after I wrote about how alcohol has ruined my family and the relationship that we all had.

Hayley with her mother at the beach

It’s been a really tough few months since she was in hospital but friends have rallied round and I’m feeling very grateful. I’ve also decided that I can’t watch my mum live in the state she has been in so have stepped back into her life to help her because she really has no one.

She’s been diagnosed with mixed dementia and it’s heart-breaking to see someone with alcohol-related brain damage slip through the social work system due to lack of family. Now many may argue that if someone drinks then it’s their own fault but it is an illness and she needs help.

The procedures on how to help her are new to me, I’m trying to help but feel social work could do much more. She’s not coping and I believe she’s on the brink of a crisis.

I think that she won’t be able to live independently for much longer. However, I want to help her be happy, comfortable and independent for as long as she’s able.

It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, stepping back into her life to help her, especially since I have little support myself, but I’d rather regret doing it than regret not doing it and at least I’ve made my peace with her. Any advice welcomed as always.