Grieving fiancee of Edinburgh dad who took own life sets up mental health group
The grieving fiancee of an Edinburgh dad-of-three has spoken out on the problems surrounding the treatment of male mental health after her partner took his own life.
Tamas Jeles left his nine-week-old twin girls fatherless when he killed himself at Port Edgar, South Queensferry on May 20 this year.
Labourer Mr Jeles, 31, originally from Miskolc, Hungary lived in Macgill Drive, Muirhouse with his young fiancee Louise Hamilton, 32, two stepchildren Zach, ten, Nathan, six and nine week old twin girls Ellie and Lilly.
Mr Jeles also had a son, Lucas, 8 who lives with Mother Krystelle MacQueen-Fotheringham in Kelty, Fife.
Fiancee, Ms Hamilton has spoken out about the ‘neglect’ she claims Mr Jeles faced during his stay at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital.
She believes a lack of care ‘tipped him over the edge’ and was the reason he took his own life six weeks ago.
The young father was admitted to the Balcarres Ward in Royal Edinburgh Hospital on December 5 where he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
She said: “The service at the Royal was terrible, they totally neglected him. He needed someone to talk to but they were always too busy.
“He was there for three months and he only managed to talk to someone a couple of times.
“I used to go up to the Royal Edinburgh to visit him and the patients would just be watching TV or outside smoking, I hardly saw any staff.”
“If he got a chance to speak to someone, someone might have spotted something.”
Ms Hamilton’s family and friends have gathered around her at this challenging time and have been ‘an amazing help’.
Ms Hamilton, along with neighbour and friend Marc Hutton, 46, have set up a male mental health group in Muirhouse in honour of Mr Jeles.
The club will host monthly meetings at Millennium Centre in Muirhouse from 7pm to 9pm for men in the area to come along and talk about their emotions.
The pair hope the club will provide local men with the opportunity to talk through their problems and not be driven to the same end as Mr Jeles.
Mr Hutton said: “The club is basically just to get guys who are sitting in their house to take that first step out of the door to come along and get support.
“We want to break the stigma down by getting guys to actually talk.
“I always say ‘it’s okay not to be okay’, we are in a different era. You used to be told to ‘man up’ but it’s different now, it’s alright for men to talk about their emotions.”
Ms Hamilton said that this is the kind of support her fiancee needed and did not get from professionals either in hospital or the community.
She said that Mr Jeles ‘just needed somebody to talk to’ outside of the family home.
She said: “If this club helps one guy like Tamas it will be a job well done. We need to break the silence and let men know its human to have emotions.
“Tamas never spoke or said what was bothering him, if he had more people to talk to maybe something would have been detected.”
“The stereotype of men having to be strong and not show their emotions needs to stop, If you need to cry, cry.”
NHS Lothian declined to comment.