SCOTTISH Conservative leader Ruth Davidson has opened her heart about her younger dreams of a “big white wedding and a chap on her arm”.
She said she originally didn’t want to be gay and struggled to come to terms with it alongside her Christian faith.
But speaking in a remarkably open interview on BBC Radio Scotland’s Stark Talk, the Edinburgh Central candidate told interviewer Edi Stark that she made a decision not to “live a lie”.
Ms Davidson, 37, said: “I thought I was destined for the big white wedding and the chap on my arm and all the rest of it, and then it wasn’t to be.
“I didn’t come out until my mid-20s. I’d known for a few years before that.
“I was working for the BBC so it wasn’t a workplace issue – that’s where I was working at the time – so that was fine.
“The biggest issue for me actually was the issues with my faith. To read Paul’s Letter [from the New Testament] to various churches around the globe, talking about ‘homosexual offenders’ . . . and talking about idolaters and adulterers and thieves being ranked together, was very difficult.
“It took time for me to come to some sort of peace with myself about it.
“It’s something I struggled with. I didn’t want to be gay – I’m not sure how many people do, and it’s been amazing the difference even in my lifetime how things have changed, but I did struggle with it for a number of years before I would admit it to myself, never mind to anybody else.
“But there comes a point at which you make a decision, either that you’re going to live a lie for the rest of your life or you’re going to trust yourself. That’s what I had to do.”
She said her speech on equal marriage in the Scottish Parliament was “one of the scariest things” she had done in politics.
She said: “It was showing so much of myself in a way that politicians don’t do, and they certainly don’t do in that kind of formalised setting.
“It was really honest and quite a difficult speech to write and make. It was about the fear and the shame and the guilt that you feel when you’re going through that process, of coming to accept yourself.
Ms Davidson now lives with partner Jen Wilson, from Wexford in Ireland, for whom she has publicly declared her love.
She said: “She’s great. Honestly, she’s just super.”
Ms Davidson said that she still goes to church, although “not as much as I should, probably”.
She added: “I still do and I still believe – I still have faith.”