Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh compares his mum’s cooking to ‘torture by waterboarding’

Irvine Welsh pictured before an event at Leith's Biscuit Factory to introduce his new novel Dead Men's Trousers.
Irvine Welsh pictured before an event at Leith's Biscuit Factory to introduce his new novel Dead Men's Trousers.
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TRAINSPOTTING author Irvine Welsh has sparked a row after publicly criticising his mum’s cooking.

The millionaire writer compared eating his mother Jean’s meals to being tortured by waterboarding.

Welsh, 60, was on a visit home to Edinburgh when he took to Twitter to complain about being “subjected” to her culinary offerings.

While the post led some followers to share stories about their parents’ lack of skills in the kitchen, others slammed Welsh for publicly shaming his mum.

The Edinburgh-born author wrote online: “Don’t want to be a spoiled, ungrateful f****r, but my mum’s cooking is practically inedible.

“Even in Scottish housing schemes people just haven’t eaten like that since at least the ‘70’s.

“I feel I’m about to mutate into some Marvel super villain from the sheer toxicity of it.”

He added: “It’s not being mean. It’s objecting to being subjected to a culinary form of waterboarding whenever I set foot in that house.”

Among those to reply to Welsh was Scots arts broadcaster Muriel Gray who wrote: “Do. Not. Be. Mean. To. Yer MAW!!!!”

Twitter user @willshome said: “Then offer to help with the cooking you lazy b*****d and make it better. Buy her a nice shiny steamer for the veg and a ceramic pan for the fry-ups. sort out her oven timings. Do something, don’t just complain.”

Urban Surfer posted: “It was made with love Irvine, I’m sure that’s not an ingredient though that would make it taste better, always better than the back of the hand though.”

Anne Brandolani wrote: “Your poor mother spawned an ungrateful f****r.”

Ian Campbell said: “Bet yer daren’t say it to her face for fear of her response,” while Ian Black posted: “Completely uncalled for. Suck it up and keep smiling!”

Other social media users urged Welsh to dip into his royalty cash to take his mother out for dinner rather than complain about her cooking.

Bill Bain wrote: “Too much of the good life big man.”

Welsh said his mum wouldn’t let him near the kitchen to help out but admitted he wouldn’t be much use anyway.

He added: “I can’t cook to save myself.”

The author’s latest novel Dead Men’s Trousers, which features the Trainspotting crew, was published last year and went to the top of bestseller lists.

He now lives in Miami, Florida, and is working on a new novel about gun violence in America.

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