Coronavirus: A lion walks into a bar and other jokes for the lockdown – Steve Cardownie

Steve Cardownie tells jokes and funny stories to lift your spirits amid the coronavirus lockdown.
Lions don't usually walk into bars (Picture: Peter Byrne/PA Wire)Lions don't usually walk into bars (Picture: Peter Byrne/PA Wire)
Lions don't usually walk into bars (Picture: Peter Byrne/PA Wire)

Looking for jokes to lighten the mood I have chosen the following:

– You realise what a boring life you led when a pandemic happens and you have to make zero changes to your lifestyle.

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– My four-year-old son had a bit of a headache but hates Calpol so I told him that it was an invisibility potion that lasts for half an hour. I’m sat on the couch with him standing in front of me holding a toy as he makes ghost noises - only 19 minutes to go.

– A man walks into a bar. As he sits down he looks up and sees three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, “what’s with the meat?”

The barman says: “If you can jump up and slap all three pieces of meat at once, you get free drinks for an hour but if you miss even one you have to pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the night. Do you want to try it?”

The man takes another look at the meat and says: “Naw, I think I’ll give it a miss. The steaks are too high.”

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– A lion walks into a bar and asks the barman: “Any jobs going pal?” The barman says: “No sorry. Why don’t you try the circus?”

The lions looks at him and says: “Why would the circus be looking for a barman?”

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