What to know if you are dating someone from Edinburgh

Edinburgh Castle from the Braid hills. Picture: Ian Georgeson.
Edinburgh Castle from the Braid hills. Picture: Ian Georgeson.
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Got yourself a first date with someone from Edinburgh? There are a few things you should know before you start dating one of us.

Prepare yourself for lots of quirky dates and, er, lots of chat about public transport…

1. It has to be salt ‘n’ sauce

Heading to the chip shop together after an evening in the pub? Our order will almost certainly include chips with that classic Edinburgh delicacy, salt and sauce. Although wary at first, you’ll end up stealing a few chips and finding out for yourself why Edinburgh natives love the chippy sauce so much. It’s actually surprisingly tasty.

2. We know the history of Edinburgh’s bars

Whenever you go to a new restaurant, bar or club for a date, we’ll give you a list of every previous name that particular establishment has ever had. Remember when The Hive used to be called Honeycomb? Or when Beer & Skittles was 2Hot? Soon you’ll be an expert at the names of long-forgotten Edinburgh haunts, even if you’d never been there yourself.

3. We’ll (probably) support either Hearts or Hibs

If your date’s a football fan, it will very quickly become clear whether they’re a Hearts or Hibs supporter. The classic Edinburgh rivalry is as strong as ever, so be prepared to listen to complaints of how rubbish the other team is and how wonderful their own players are. Just remember never to schedule a date on Edinburgh Derby day and you’ll be fine.

4. Being late is always the bus’s fault

No matter what the real reason is, whenever we’re late for a date we’ll always find a way to blame it on the buses. Poor old Lothian Buses have been providing a stellar service for decades, yet you’ll still hear everything from “the bus tracker showed the wrong time” to “the driver took the wrong route” when we’re trying to explain why you’ve been standing outside the cinema waiting by yourself for 20 minutes.

5. But we’ll always thank the driver anyway

Even if the driver did take the wrong route, we’ll rarely get off the bus without saying a quick thank you. It’s common courtesy to say cheers to the driver as you hop off at your stop, so to blend in well with the Edinburgh natives, just be polite. And also master the art of bus stop queuing while you’re at it.

6. We like to remind you you’re not from Edinburgh

If you’re dating an Edinburger but you’re not from the city yourself, we’ll take every opportunity possible to remind you of this fact. If you’re from anywhere north of Fife, you’ll be mocked for being from “the Highlands” and you better be ready to stick up for your Glasgow roots if you’re from the west. But all this teasing is just a bit of fun really, we’re secretly glad you chose Edinburgh as your adoptive home city.

7. We know all the hidden gems

One of the best things about dating someone from Edinburgh is that we know all the best hidden gems. Venture outside of the city centre and we’ll be able to recommend all the best pubs and cafés that only locals know about. We’ll know our neighbourhood like the back of our hand, so avoid the tourist hotspots in town and let us take you on a guided tour of the lesser-known parts of Edinburgh for a memorable date.

8. We’ll have a famous person Fringe story

Everyone from Edinburgh has at least a couple of stories about meeting famous people at the Fringe. Any time you’re watching a comedy panel show on TV together, we’ll tell you the tale of that one time Seann Walsh bought them a kebab or that other time we ran into David Mitchell in Tesco. Be prepared to hear these same two stories over and over again during the month of August.

9. But we’ll still complain about tourists during the Fringe

Despite the possibility of meeting a celebrity, there’s nothing we love more than complaining about all the tourists and festival-goers during the summer months. We’ll be counting down the days to September so we no longer get attacked with flyers everywhere we go and can make it to the shops and back without a half hour delay due to slow walking tourists. But deep down, we secretly love the Fringe and are very glad to have it all on our doorstep.

10. Get used to Edinburgh slang

Confused when we ask you to “chum me up to the shop”? Not sure what’s going on when we describe something as “shan”? Get used to it, Edinburgers have their own language of slang words and sometimes it can be pretty difficult to decipher. Don’t worry though, you’ll soon start to catch on and trying to have a conversation with us will no longer make you radge.

11. We’ll have strong opinions about the trams

Before you start dating someone from Edinburgh, you should know that we have very strong opinions about the trams. The trams tend to divide opinion in this city, but one way or the other we’re sure to let you know exactly how we feel about this mode of transport. Some Edinburgers have quietly accepted that the trams are actually quite useful sometimes, whilst others will still refuse to use them just on principle.

12. No two dates will be the same

You’ll never get bored dating someone from Edinburgh because there’s always lots to do. No matter what your interests or budget are, there are plenty of unique date ideas which are a bit more exciting than your standard dinner and drinks. Bond over your fear of the supernatural on a ghost tour, or sample some new cuisines at a food festival. Play around like big kids at the zoo, or drink cocktails in an intimate secret speakeasy. The possibilities are endless.

13. We’ll know someone who knows someone

Edinburgh is a surprisingly small place, so the chances are you and your new date will probably have a mutual friend or two. Once you get chatting on your first date, you’ll soon realise that we know your flatmate’s brother or went to school with your old colleague. At least this makes meeting our friends a little less daunting as you might already know a couple of them!

14. We’re tired of giving directions to the Castle

Whatever you do, don’t ask us where Edinburgh Castle is. We’re sick of being stopped by tourists on Princes Street and being asked “where is the Castle?” whilst standing directly under it. If you want to ask for directions to anywhere else, however, go ahead. We’ll happily tell you how to find your way to your next date location, using secret shortcuts that only locals know, as long as your date isn’t at the Castle.

15. We’re the best in the world (and modest)

Despite all those funny quirks, folk from Edinburgh are some of the best people in the world to go on a date with. We’re friendly and welcoming, and will stop at nothing to impress you with the help of our beautiful home city. We’ll try to charm you with our romantic side but also keep you laughing with classic Scottish humour. We’ll take you on dates to stunning locations and cool hangouts to whisk you off your feet, but also happily pop round for a night in with a film and some chips with salt and sauce. What more could you ask for?