35 of the funniest quotes from The Inbetweeners

By The Newsroom
Wednesday, 25th April 2018, 4:32 pm
Updated Wednesday, 25th April 2018, 5:32 pm

Coming-of-age-sitcom The Inbetweeners turns 10 on 1 May. Feel old yet?

Crude, immature, and often quite disgusting, the cringe-inducing exploits of Will, Jay, Simon and Neil nevertheless captured the imagination of millions, and ran to three series and two films.

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To mark the anniversary of the hit show, here are 50 of their most ridiculous and entertaining quotes:

(Warning: adult humour follows)

"Oh yeah, hanging out by some bins, near a skip, in the cold, doing drugs. Very cool! Very cool indeed!" - Will

Simon: "Things have really changed. Girls might be about to notice us for who we really are!" Jay: "Well you're f***ed then, because you're a t***!"

Jay: "They wont call you 'briefcase w***er' anymore."Will: "Oh, well that’s good."Jay: No, they’ll call you 's*** pants w***er.'"Neil: "Or 'S***ty S***ty Bang Bang.'"

"I thought it was a fart sir. I thought it was a fart!" - Will

"I will be humiliated in front of the girl I've lusted after since she was eight." - Simon

(Photo: Channel 4)

"Oooh everyone look at me, I've got a girlfriend and I love going round her house and listening to her s*** music and laughing at her s*** jokes and pretending that she's fit when she isn't even that fit." - Jay

Neil, getting used to the complexities of work: "How long's my lunch hour?"

"I've never loved anything before, apart from a car or a sandwich." - Neil

Simon: "Who brings a bag of s*** to the pub?"Jay: "Your dad does."Simon: "Does he?"Jay: "Yeah, your mum!"

Neil, after Jay kicks the heads off some daffodils: "Vandalism is like smashing in people's windows and stuff. This is just a laugh."

Will on caravaning: “It's that sense of s***ting in a bucket in a cupboard you don't get with other holidays... in England... with your parents!”

"A few years ago I went to see King Kong at the cinema. Now I'm on a date with her!" - Will

(Photo: Channel 4)

"I got this amazing new app called Grindr, and immediately found loads of new friends." - Neil

"Feisty one you are!" - Will

"There's plenty more fish in the sea. Jay's harpooned himself a whale." - Jay's dad

"I'm a principled man, and one of those principles turns out to be I'll do literally anything a girl asks me to." - Will

"They say the art of teaching is aiding discovery. And Mr. Gilbert had helped me discover that he was a w***er." - Will

Jay's 'pulling' recipe: "Right, vodka, whisky, and a load of Creme de Menthe."

Will: "They say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for polio."

(Photo: Channel 4)

"I stopped believing in God when I realised it was just 'dog' spelled backwards." - Neil

Will [after Jay has let off an emergency flare]: "Why the f*** did you do that?!" Jay: "To get the sea police out." Will: "And say what? 'Help, we've caught a fish?' We're already in the harbour, what are they gonna do? Tow us four feet closer to the shore?"

"All my pubes have fallen out." - Will

Will: "Please don't have a w*** over my Mum."Neil: "I can't promise that, I'm afraid."

Simon, on Will's love life: "You've only kissed three girls. Your type is 'anyone who'll let you.'”

"How much LEGO can you get up your bum? Didn't you do it as a kid? Just a triangle one and a long one? Maybe a few singles?" - Neil

Will, on Simon's fashion show get-up: "Speedos, DMs, top hat and a leash? What maniac designed that and thought 'I know what's fashionable; dressing up as an upper class mental patient!'?"

"Just because you've had a puff on your first joint, doesn't make you Kurt Cobain." - Will

(Photo: Channel 4)

Neil: "How about this one then?" Jay: "Championship Manager? Completed it." Neil: "But you can't complete it." Jay: "I know, but I got so good at it they offered me a role in the England set-up." Neil: "Did they?" Jay: "I took Woking from the conference to the Champions League in six seasons, that kind of stuff doesn't go unnoticed."

Will: "I've no interest in babes."Jay: "That's handy, cos they've got no interest in you."

"It's a f***ing terrifying, massive fish! Get rid of it Neil!" - Will

"Smelling like an industrial accident at a Lynx factory and looking like the world's s***est boyband, we hit the town." - Will

"What's this pesto stuff? Is it for humans?" - Neil

"What is Swansea? Is it an animal?" - Neil

"Once on holiday in Spain, me and me mate got on a pedalo and ended up in Africa." - Jay

"Bus w***ers!"

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Originally published on our sister title, iNews