Off the peg: An ill wind blows nobody’s wardrobe any good in capital

For anyone who has ever loved and lost a brolly thanks to chilly breezes blowing them inside out.

To the ladies who have been humiliated over the years as the wind wheechs their skirts overhead. And to every person who has ever had to pick grit from their mouth, nose and eyes due to an impromptu gale – it may soothe you to know we officially live in the windiest country in Europe.

The people to thank for such a title are our ice-cream kings Mackie’s. They claimed their ice-cream was churned by a wind turbine powered by the strongest gusts in Europe. Someone challenged this, a test was done and it confirmed Mackie’s proof was in its puddling.

Now I’d like to stake a claim that the Capital is in fact the windiest city in Europe. I have a wardrobe that still mourns the loss of hundreds of hats that have vanished during the years I’ve walked the streets of Auld Reekie.

If I were to be reunited with every hat that’s ever blown off my head, or blasted out of shape, I’d have a collection to rival Johnny Depp’s.