Valentine's chat-up lines ... if you like cheese, you'll love these!

Valentine's Day advancing swifter than George Michael's '96 chart-topper Fastlove, we consider current flirtatious favourites you'll regard great or hate. Romantic Brits have chosen their most cringeworthy chat-up line. And the winner is … "You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop". Cue collective groans louder than an empty stomach! Nonetheless, this awkwardly amorous engaging opener tops a greetings card firm's pre-February 14 loved-up list. Searches for "chat up lines for him" and "her" recently soared like a helium heart balloon, 767 and 614 per cent higher respectively, according to thortful.com. "Love them or hate them, a cheesy chat-up line can be a great icebreaker - or it can backfire very badly," says the company, connecting creatives with customers. "Whether you’re chatting on Tinder or at the bar, you’ve got to be seriously brave to make your move with some of these deeply cheesy chat-up lines. From groan-worthy puns to lines more silly than seductive, we’ve created an index of chat-up lines cheesier than a block of cheddar," added the spokesman for https://www.thortful.com/. If you like cheese, as Crawfords Cheddars retro TV ad suggested, you'll love these. "You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop" "If you were a fruit you’d be a fine apple" "Are you French? Because Eiffel for you" "I’d like to take you to the movies but they don’t let you bring your own snacks" "Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve only met you in my dreams" "Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for" "Is there an airport nearby ... or is it my heart taking off?" "Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes" "Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you" "I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me" Prospective Romeos and aspiring Casanovas could do worse than follow big screen stars' example, delivering humorous lines much more likely to tug toughest of heartstrings.But more succinctly than Colin Firth's muddled Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones's Diary. "I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences. But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are." And definitely conciser than Hugh Grant's Charles, babbling like a brook in full flow, in Four Weddings And A Funeral. "Well, this is a very stupid question and, particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, erm, er, I mean, obviously not because I guess I've only slept with nine people, b-but I just wondered, er, I really feel, um, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, er, in the words of David Cassidy in fact, er, while he was still with the Partridge family, um, I think I love you, and, er, I just wondered if by any chance you wouldn't like to, er, er, no, no, no of course not, I'm an idiot, he's not, excellent, excellent, fantastic, um, I was going to say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb, better get on."Alex Hitchens (Hitch) Will Smith: "I couldn’t help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend" Dennis Carson (Red Dust) Clark Gable: "Mind if I get drunk with you?" Miles Massey (Intolerable Cruelty) George Clooney: "Your husband told me you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen but he didn’t say anything about the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen” Dr Hugo Z Hackenbush (A Day At The Races) Groucho Marx: "Marry me ... and I'll never look at another horse" Ron Burgundy (Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy) Will Ferrell: "I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal” Tommy Basilio (Trees Lounge) Steve Buscemi: "If I win, I get to take you home, if you win, you can come home with me" Rick Blaine (Casablanca) Humphrey Bogart: “Here’s looking at you, kid” CC Baxter (The Apartment) Jack Lemmon: "Ya know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe, I mean, shipwrecked among eight million people, and then one day I saw a footprint in the sand, and there you were" Van Wilder (National Lampoon's Van Wilder) Ryan Reynolds: “Are you stalking me? Because that would be super” JD (Thelma & Louise) Brad Pitt: "I may be an outlaw darlin' ... but you're the one stealing my heart"

Valentine's chat-up lines ... if you like cheese, you'll love these!

We've all heard them, some of us regretted saying them ... chat-up lines cheesier than Alpine fondue.