Why, oh why, are film-makers always plaguing Edinburgh? – Grumpy McGrumpface

Sir, Once more Edinburgh has been left at the mercy of movie moguls who want the city to provide the backdrop for some film called Fast and Furious (which adequately describes my keyboard skills when compiling this letter) or something.

Wednesday, 4th September 2019, 11:45 am
Fast And Furious star Vin Diesel - or is it Van Petrol? (Picture: Getty)

Apparently some actor called Van Petrol wants to strut his stuff in the New Town and doesn’t care that my daily commute to Greggs for a steak bake has been severely disrupted – by the time I got there yesterday it was cold and I’ve now had enough (of the filming, that is, not steak bakes).

Why not go to somewhere like Gourock to film their movie – why is it always Edinburgh? Just because we have great architecture, a palace, a castle, picturesque gardens, ancient monuments, a parliament and an extinct volcano, so what? Apart from that what makes Edinburgh so special?

According to Wikipedia, Gourock has got a lot going for it: “Kempock Street itself has a good variety of traditional shops including bakers (I’ll bet it’s Greggs) and greengrocers’ shops.”

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Well then, there you have it, what more are film makers looking for? I am fed up to my back teeth (when I take them out of the jar at the side of my bed) with all this nonsense about Edinburgh being a film-makers’ dream. I’ll have to leave it there or my traditional Scottish lunch might be cold again by the time I get there.

Yours harmoniously,

Grumpy McGrumpface

Mr McGrumpface is an alter-ego of Steve Cardownie