Edinburgh woman speaks out about the loneliness and isolation of being a first-time-mum during lockdown

‘The loneliness and isolation is the worst part’

Cally Fox-McKay, 30, was looking forward to the spring and summer of 2020 as the months in which she would bring her newborn Sullivan to baby groups, getting to know other new parents and introducing Sully to other babies.

Her mother, who lives on the West Coast, was planning to come and stay with Ms Fox-McKay and her husband Andrew for a little while to support her daughter with her first baby.

But Sullivan arrived on March 9, just two weeks before lockdown, and so Ms Fox-McKay’s first experience of motherhood has been very different to what she imagined.

Sullivan Fox-McKay

Her mother wasn’t able to come, and hasn’t been able to meet her grandson yet.

She has not been able to go to any mother and baby groups in the local area, which she was counting on to make friends, as the couple only moved to their new home in Dunbar at the beginning of the year and do not yet know many people.

Because of this she hasn’t been able see many friends even with the new eased lockdown measures, as she would need to travel to visit friends near her old home in Leith.

Andrew Fox-McKay was able to spend some time with his wife and new son at first but soon had to go back to work, and while he is working from home he can only take rare five-minute breaks to be with the family.

After almost four months, Ms Fox-McKay is feeling the strain of the isolation.

“I was expecting to be able to be out and about, going to baby groups and meeting other parents,” she said.

“The hardest thing about having a baby in lockdown has been the isolation and loneliness.

“It’s also been difficult to manage mum’s expectations about meeting Sully - she feels like she’s missing him grow up.”

Ms Fox-McKay has been able to take a few online baby classes with Sully, including a massage class held via Zoom.

But she said this has not replaced in-person contact with other parents.

“It’s nice,” she said.

“But you miss all the chit chat with other mums.”