Edinburgh mum who suffered nine miscarriages urges women to 'never lose hope' after welcoming miracle baby
An Edinburgh mum who suffered nine miscarriages echoes Kate Ferdinand's heartbreak - but urges couples to "never to lose hope" after finally welcoming a miracle baby.
Pamela Mackenzie, 41, and her husband, Ian, 44, went through fertility treatment and IVF in an attempt to start a family together.
Sadly, nine of her pregnancies never made it past five or six weeks and she told how she was left thinking "what's wrong with me?" every time she lost a baby.
But in 2018 she gave birth to her miracle son, Patrick, now three, after going to Prague, Czech Republic, for IVF treatment.
Despite having given birth to her "little miracle", Pamela still remembers the pain of hearing the words 'I'm afraid that it's going to be a miscarriage.' Kate Ferdinand - who is married to former footballer Rio Ferdinand - this week opened up about her miscarriage heartbreak and revealed she knew it was bad news because of the specialist's "awful" silence during the scan.
Pamela now volunteers for the International Fertility Company - who help to support people looking to have fertility treatment abroad and in the UK - and describes the pain of losing a baby, no matter how early on in a pregnancy, as "heartbreaking".
Pamela, a volunteer, said: "It's how you feel when you are going through heartbreak or when someone has died.
"It feels like you're living a nightmare and there's nobody there to support you.
"You ask 'what's wrong with me?' and you feel like less of a woman.
"There's not enough awareness or support, it's only once you start researching yourself you can find support.
"I think it's so brave of Kate Ferdinand to come out about her experience and her pain, it's something more women should speak about - it was so brave of her."
Some of Pamela's pregnancies never made it to a hospital visit, but other times she made it to five or six weeks.
"The NHS are stretched to their limits, but I feel like there isn't enough support," she said.
"One time when I had made it to six weeks, I was offered counselling, but I wasn't in the right space to accept it.
"It would be great if there was someone who came in and had a conversation with you, or even a room you could go into to have a sit down and a little cry."
The mum - who was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) when she was 12 - recalls how medical staff came across "very matter-of-fact" and blunt when sharing soul-destroying news to hopeful parents.
She said: "One time a member of hospital staff told me: 'There's nothing you can do, it doesn't matter if you're sat down or lying down, you're going to bleed and miscarry.'"
In 2010, aged 30, Pamela suffered an ectopic pregnancy at six weeks gone whilst on holiday in Blackpool, Lancashire.
After a negative pregnancy test, she was sent home by medical staff.
"I sat in pain all the way back to Edinburgh on the coach and then immediately went to A&E where they discovered it was ectopic," she said.
"As women we know our own bodies and should be taken more seriously."