Edinburgh woman speaks out about life with bulimia and what it's like to suffer in silence

A young Edinburgh student shares what it’s like growing up with an eating disorder and how social media taught her the ropes

From the age of 12, Bethany suffered with a severe case of bulimia which she says she was introduced to via social media trends. Starting high school as an ‘early bloomer’, Bethany struggled with self confidence as – like millions of other teenagers across the globe – she became exposed to Instagram and other image-oriented social media sites. There, youngsters are able to access to face altering filters, photoshop, and the concept of likes per photo to gain ‘personal validation’. This became Bethany’s constant obsession as she felt under pressure to compare herself to others.

She said: “I learned what bulimia was through the internet, it was seen as trendy in the early days of Instagram. People would hashtag it and post about it, Tumblr was also really big on it. I was taught how to do it through these sites and I thought if other people were doing it then I can do it because it’s normal. Bulimia was normalised on the internet, which made it okay to do.”

Various dangerous ‘life hacks’ also encouraged this warped relationship with the self. Such trends include the ‘A4 piece of paper waist challenge’ which encouraged mostly young women to hold up sheets of paper and take selfies – they "win" if the paper entirely obscures their waist. The standard A4 paper size is just 21cm (8.3in) across.

Bethany went through her childhood suffering in silence with a ‘normalised’ disease that she felt was being ‘encouraged by social media platforms’. For two years she went through a daily cycle of limiting calories, thinking of ways to avoid meal times, and purging. Everyday for years Bethany weighed herself and felt ‘paranoid’ about the number on the scales. She said: “My days were planned entirely around my eating which just consumed me. I should have been thinking about school and life in general but the fear of food just took all control.” It reached the point where the teen cancelled numerous first dates because of her fear of food, which resulted in Bethany feeling isolated and unable to attend social gatherings.

During peak Covid-19 lock-down times, Bethany said she suffered with a relapse after years of battling recovery. For the first time she built up the courage to ask for help from friends and family after spending years in silence. She said: “Once I surrounded myself with people that gave me stable emotional support I started eating better again as I ate in a social setting which normalised it, and got counselling”.

Now 20-years-old, Bethany has since regained confidence in herself and her body, but is constantly aware of the dangers surrounding social media as ‘it’s not a disorder you can recover from, it’s simply avoiding triggers and finding coping strategies’. She said: “There needs to stop being so much pressure on young people, so that you aren’t forced to compare your body with every single person you see online with the photoshopped images and magazine airbrushed photos.”

Eating disorder specialist Ruth Micallef, who is based in Edinburgh, said: “Bulimia Nervosa continues to be one of the most common, yet most under diagnosed eating disorders. In fact, due to the incorrect perception that you have to make yourself sick to have Bulimia, many have no idea that they are struggling. Bulimia is simply a cycle of bingeing and purging, but purging isn’t just vomiting, it can be restriction, using laxatives or diet products, and even excessive exercise.

Social media trends like the 'A4 challenge' help spread unhealthy body standards among young women

“Another misconception is around why eating disorders like Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder develop. In fact the number one reason for Bulimia developing is the unprocessed trauma behind bullying, and for Binge Eating Disorder it’s emotional neglect or abuse. If you are struggling with a non-anorexic eating disorder, do reach out to your GP, or a registered professional like myself who can support you with your first steps towards recovery."

Instagram has been approached for comment.

- If you want to speak to anyone about the issues raised in this article, various helplines are available at https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/