'My gran told me she'd rather be dead than in a care home' - Edinburgh student shares her ongoing battle with Covid restrictions

A 22-year-old woman living in the Capital is urging the government to fast track testing for relatives of care home residents after her own grandmother told her she would rather be dead than be in a care home during the pandemic.

Mary Boag pictured outside her care home in Edinburgh and Lucy Challoner wearing a mask during a visit to her loved ones picture: Lucy Challoner

Lucy Challoner and her 19-year-old brother Jack are currently living in Edinburgh and are only allowed to visit their grandmother, Mary Boag, at a care home* in the Capital for 30 minutes once a week.

Lucy and Jack’s mother, Judy Challoner, is also in a care home* in Glasgow which they have not been able to visit for months after it experienced a Covid-19 outbreak.

Speaking to Edinburgh Evening News, Lucy said she has reached “crisis point” with the current coronavirus restrictions limiting her from seeing her close relatives.

“It’s been incredibly distressing for the last nine months and I have reached crisis point,” Lucy said, sounding frustrated on the phone.

“I cannot believe it has been this long and the government still hasn’t got its act together to test family members so that they can visit loved ones in care homes.

“My mum hasn’t seen her own mum since March and grandma, who has quite advanced dementia, is 98 and we don’t know how much longer she has.

“She told me she would rather be dead than be locked in a care home away from her family.”

Mary Boag at her care home in Edinburgh. Lucy said she finds meeting her grandmother for just 30 minutes behind bars distressing picture: Lucy Challoner

Lucy lost her father to suicide in 2007 and her mother has been in a care home for the last four years.

The months of separation since March and teary phone calls has pushed Lucy to arrange for her mother to be moved back home permanently.

“We are a really close family and not being able to see mum or gran regularly has been really tough on me and my brother.

"Mum has alcohol related brain damage from a drinking problem she developed after dad took his own life and I am much more to her than just a visitor. I am her daughter and have been her carer for years.

Lucy and her brother Jack visiting their mother Judy Challoner at a care home in Glasgow during the pandemic. Due to a recent outbreak at the care home, the siblings haven't been able to visit their mother since September picture: Lucy Challoner

“While it’s a big responsibility for me and my brother to take on having her back home, it’s going to be better than not being able to see her.

"I’ve had her on the phone to me in tears and it’s just heartbreaking hearing her so upset.”

Lucy said she has shared her story with the Scottish Government but feels “let down” at the “lack of urgency” to test immediate family members to make visits more comfortable and frequent.

"I know we’ve been able to do 30 minutes once a week with my gran,” she added, “but it’s not enough, especially when you can’t hug or be in the same room.

"You find yourself standing there while your vulnerable relative is behind a window or bars, and you end up having to keep checking the time because it’s so limited.

"When it gets to 25 minutes you just start feeling upset because you know you have to go soon.

"It’s awful families have been put in this situation for so long when the government could have done something about it.

"England is taking a step in the right direction with a new pilot scheme for relatives but the Scottish Government has shown nothing.”

The young student said the final straw that pushed her to arrange for her mother to be moved home permanently was the government’s recent announcement about ordering iPads for care home residents on November 16.

"That iPad announcement was enough to send me over the edge,” she said.

"Of course ordering iPads is a great idea, but nine months after all this started? I had to buy iPads for gran and mum at the beginning because there’s no way we would have been able to do without them until now.

“I couldn’t believe it when I saw that the government was getting excited about ordering them in November. It’s little too late and it makes me really lose faith in how our country is being run during this pandemic.

"The lack of action is so frustrating.

"It makes me wonder if I will ever get tested and be able to hug my grandmother before I lose her.”

Lucy said she has spoken with other families who have felt equally frustrated by the care home visit restrictions and the impact it is having on elderly people.

She has joined several groups online to find support from others who are experiencing similar hardship.

"I am member of Care Home Relative Scotland group on Facebook and it’s been so helpful talking to other people who are in a similar position,” she added.

"It’s amazing how many of us there are and yet how little action is being taken to test immediate family.

“At first I was anxious, but now I a just angry and frustrated."

A Scottish Government spokeswoman said: “We are deeply sympathetic to the situation facing people wanting to see loved ones in care homes and we are doing all we can to allow people to visit safely, whist ensuring the safety of residents.

“As stated in the clinical review of our testing strategy we are scaling up asymptomatic testing as capacity increases, with a focus on protecting those most at risk of transmission. The Health Secretary will set out our plans for further testing next week.

“It is important to remember that testing only provides a single point in time assessment of whether a person has the virus – it does not mean they will not go on to develop it. That’s why we are using asymptomatic testing in a targeted way to protect the most vulnerable, as part of outbreak management, as well as looking at what role it might play in addressing areas with sustained transmission.”

*Lucy preferred to withhold revealing the names of the care homes where her mother and grandmother are.

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