It seems fair to assume these 12 TripAdvisor reviewers won't be making a return visit any time soon.
"Not a chair in sight - had to sit on the grass and was left with an unsightly wet patch so it looked like I had soiled myself"
"Well you walk up the hill, enjoy the view, feel some historical wind and then you walk down again for a pint.."
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"Having visited here before and always wanted to get a good photo we returned again... no fountain just a damn big muddy hole and tower crane in the middle". (Ed: Fountain was away for restoration!)
Royal Mile too touristy, fumes tourist. You couldn't make it up..
Similar to Calton Hill, this reviewer preferred the pub to the attraction. Luckily, Bobby has his very own bar nearby...
"It's a monument to novelist Walter Scott. It's big, it's filthy, it's ugly. You'll probably pass it half a dozen times on your way around Edinburgh. After a while, you'll learn to ignore it like my family did. Cheers."
Edinburgh's high kirk has been ripped apart by this reviewer. Fortunately, the cafe had a plentiful supply of avocado and lettuce, so it wasn't a totally wasted trip.
A slight exaggeration this one, we feel, and how dare people take photos with their phones at Scotland's most popular paid-for tourist attraction...
We're guessing this visitor isn't a member of any trade unions...
The main criticism here appears to be verdant spaces and an abundant variety of tree species. At the Botanics. Yep.
Luxury yacht turns out to be as described, visitor in shock regardless.
Even the Queen (who was quite possibly in residence at the time) needs a wee bit peace and quiet, you know...