Love in lockdown: ‘I was dumped by WhatsApp video call’

Love and lockdown are a complicated pairing. For some, being stuck indoors has provided much-needed clarity: hard truths have been swallowed and sweet resolutions reached. For others, being forced together or apart from their other half has made love more difficult and stressful to navigate than ever before.

Research by the sex and intimacy brand Lelo has found that 23 per cent of Brits have admitted to breaking lockdown rules to see a partner. Meanwhile, a survey by the charity Relate details that one in eight Brits living with their partner is experiencing doubts about the relationship.

Fife based artist Jane had a breakup thrown at her via WhatsApp without a moment’s notice.

Mark, Jane’s partner of six months, chose the middle of lockdown to break the news to her that he wanted to end their relationship.

Jane said: “We went into lockdown completely fine. I don’t know why he wanted to end things; he didn’t give me any reasons. The way he went about breaking up with me over WhatsApp video was insensitive.”

After Mark ended things Jane decided to move in with her parents. She has deleted Mark’s phone number and is speaking to a friend for support.

“It’s been pretty hard. I think he should have at least waited till the end of lockdown before making a decision like this. The worst part is all of my stuff is still with him and at some point I’ll need to get it back.”

Around a year ago, 22-year-old art history student Elle ended a three-year long-distance relationship with her ex-partner. For the past 12 months Elle has been enjoying the company of various men she has met in the city. After a combination of “enjoying and deeply regretting” a series of short-lived flings, just as the coronavirus began to take hold of the UK, Elle met Jacob.

Her feelings for the Glaswegian developed rapidly and the pair enjoyed going on various dates together. The morning after Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced the UK would go into lockdown, Elle moved out of her student flat and drove back to her hometown of Leeds. Meanwhile, Jacob decided to stay in his Edinburgh flat.

“Three weeks into lockdown I began to feel desperate to see Jacob. We’d had a great few dates together, but I needed to know whether we could be more than just friends with benefits. I struggled to concentrate on university work because all I could think about was him and whether there could be something serious between us.”

Eventually Elle found being away from Jacob too much. Three weeks into lockdown she decided to go against government instructions and drive from Leeds to Edinburgh to see him. Elle had an empty flat for one more week before her lease expired, so she invited Jacob around to talk.

She said: “We spoke quite a lot and slept together a few times. Then we decided it would be best if we left things there because after lockdown our lives will be going in different directions.”

Elle has no regrets about breaking the law, despite the serious health risks to which it exposed herself and others. While she wishes that it had produced better results, she feels she can better cope with isolating without the gnawing doubt of what she might have missed out on.

But Zara and Andrew have found themselves in a very different position from Elle. The pair of graduates in their mid-twenties have been in a relationship six months and, so far, the course of their love has indeed run smoothly. When lockdown was announced, the couple decided they’d rather be stuck together than apart, so they moved into Andrew’s family home just outside Edinburgh.

Zara said: “Moving into Andrew’s house after just six months of being together was a risky decision. I’ve met his parents before and we’ve always got on extremely well but that’s a whole different kettle of fish from actually living together.”

It has been more than 50 days since Zara moved in and the ways things are going has not surprised them. Andrew said: “We all get along really well. There’s been no dramas, no fights and Zara fits right in with my family. Lockdown has been great in that sense.”

Edinburgh based marketing manager Charlotte and her Glasgow-based boyfriend John ended up isolating together after John was placed on furlough.

The pair, both in their early 30s, have been dating for five months but due to the nature of John’s work and location they do not get to see each other often. When lockdown was announced Charlotte and John decided to hunker down together in Charlotte’s flat.

“Everyone was saying ‘oh my god, what are you doing, this is going to be a baptism of fire’, but John and I just found the idea of spontaneously moving in together quite funny. I work during the day, so we weren’t always annoying each other, and together we’d go out to exercise and go for bike rides. John is quite into long boarding, so he’s been teaching me how to skate at night along the canal. I even met his family over Zoom and have completed a few virtual pub quizzes with his friends, who I’ve never met in person before. Living together wasn’t intense or anything, it just felt nice to have the time. I think that because we didn’t plan it things actually worked out well.”

l All names have been changed to protect their identities