The world is running out of Marmite? I need to panic buy! – Susan Morrison

Susan Morrison is down to her last four jars of Marmite and is getting worried about a beer-related yeast shortage.

Susan Morrison appears to be quite fond of Marmite (Picture: Marmite/PA)

There are moments in any crisis when we must call on deep reserves of courage to get through the darkest night. I was coping well with this pandemic, I had come to terms with a fresh cancer diagnosis, and even managed to sort out the mess an NHS computer had hurled me into by trying to effectively kill me, like HAL in going rogue in 2001. But I had no warning that the worst was to come.

The world is running out of Marmite.

It’s to do with the yeast, apparently. People aren’t making beer.

At least, I think that’s what’s going on. Where is my daily briefing addressing this situation? Why do I not see Boris Johnson piffling and wiffling his way through press conferences being asked the really hard questions like where’s the Marmite? Bet that Bullingdon Boy doesn’t do Marmite.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, there are people who say they don’t like Marmite. Rubbish. Truth is, they can’t handle Marmite. It has never been for the faint-hearted floppy haired types who bleat about honey for tea and prefer jam on the breakfast toast.

My stocks are low. I only have two large jars, one small jar, the emergency/travelling jar and half a dozen of those little sachet things you get at hotel breakfast buffets. Yes, I took some. I call it liberation.

We tore this town apart to get loo roll when you can always use the Daily Mail for that. This is serious, people.

Where can we hit to panic-buy Marmite?

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