Dalkeith man launches online platform AfterLoss to help other bereaved families after dad's death
A man who lost his dad to dementia has used his experience to help other bereaved families across the country.
Steven Scott, who is originally from Dalkeith, lost his father David Scott at the age of 90 at the end of last year, more than 10 years after he had been diagnosed with dementia.
David had been in care for the last few months of his life, and had also been cared for by Steve’s sister Sandra for many years as his live-in carer.
Steve moved to London three decades ago, while his brother, Colin, lives in Canada. After getting word of David’s declining health, the family made plans to return to Dalkeith.
Steve said: “We tried to get up there as quickly as possible because the doctors told us ‘he’s got an infection and it doesn’t look good’. We packed the car with the dog and drove up, but we missed him by half an hour.”
Steve added: “My brother lives in Canada and I had called him to say that this time, it’s it. Because we had had a few scares before where we had to tell him to hold on before getting on the plane.
“But this time, I told him he should come. He flew in but he didn’t get in until the Wednesday morning and my dad had died on the Tuesday night.”
In the midst of dealing with the grief from his dad’s death, Steve and his family realised how hard it is to make sense of the immediate aftermath and admin that comes along with the loss of a loved one.
He explained: “My mum had passed in 2012 and we had never looked at the will or sorted out anything to do with that. We had power of attorney because of my dad’s dementia so we had got our ducks in a row there. But we when looked at the will after my dad died, my brother was named as the only executor.
“I went into the bank in Dalkeith thinking, with my power of attorney, that I could close the bank account only to be told ‘hang on, you realise you can’t do that now because he has died’. I didn’t know that and that’s where the bureaucracy started kicking in.”
With Colin due to fly back to Canada a week-and-a-half later, the family was put under stress in the midst of their loss.
Steve said: “We realised that my brother could only do certain things but he also could only stay for a week and a bit because he has got to get back to Canada.
“That plus the rest of the admin had me doing what everyone does - going to the guides and looking at ‘here’s what to do’ pages, looking at these long pages and taking in 10 per cent of it. That’s where the idea for AfterLoss kicked in.”
Steve, who has more than three decades experience in the tech sector, launched AfterLoss, a platform which helps to guide families through the need-to-knows and puts together an action plan for what needs to be done after the death of a loved one.
The free-to-use platform works in across the UK, and offers gentle nudges for deadlines on certain paperwork for your specific region. Users can also invite family members, funeral directors, and solicitors to collaborate so everyone knows what needs done, by when and by whom.
Steve explained: “It’s the worst time in your life to have to deal with lots of admin.
“For me, the key thing wasn't to make some interactive guides, it’s about telling us where you are starting from - do you have a will? Were you power of attorney? Do you have access to bank accounts and all the other things? And your location, because there are different laws for Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
“It holds your hand as much as it can and directs you and prompt you because there are deadlines as well and it says ‘okay you need to do this and because you are in Scotland, it needs to be done within five to eight days’. It’s not meant to stress you out, it’s the opposite.
Steve added: “It’s a tool to help you at one of the worst times in your life.
“I wouldn’t really have cared if it hadn’t really taken off, it was more something that helped me work through my grief ultimately. But here we are now, so many people have told me that, yes, this is very useful.”
You can visit AfterLoss.uk to use the platform and find out more about the service.