Edinburgh autism memoir explores former journalist's 60-year struggle before diagnosis

A former journalist from Edinburgh has written a book about discovering she is autistic at the age of 58 after taking an online test while ill with Covid.

Alex Morgan spent nearly six decades trying to blend in and hide her anxiety before a formal assessment finally confirmed her late diagnosis.

Her memoir, Mothertongue, explores her childhood growing up above her family’s Edinburgh dress shop in the 1960s and 1970s, and her lifelong search to understand why she felt different.

Shortlisted in the Northern Writers’ Awards, the book will be published on June 1 by Thorn & Haw Publications.

Ms Morgan, a former Scotsman journalist, said: “I was stunned, and yet the test result – which was confirmed a few months later by a formal assessment – made complete sense.

"It left me wondering how I, and everybody around me, had failed to realise."

Alex Morgan was almost 60 years old before being diagnosed. | Andy Mills

Convinced by her mother that the world was full of monsters – her father chief among them – and dreadful things could happen at any time, Alex says she spent nearly six decades trying to keep safe by blending in, hiding her fear and pretending to understand and be like everyone else.

The author said she wanted to explore her family history to understand her genetics and build a better life, describing her discoveries as "complicated and surprising".

She added: “As I read and learned more about the condition, it dawned on me that I was far from alone – and that it is surrounded by myth and misunderstanding."

Mothertongue is Alex Morgan's memoir focussing on her lifelong struggle leading up to her autism diagnosis. | Submitted

While around a million people in the UK have an autism diagnosis, experts believe up to 700,000 girls and women remain unrecognised.

“They’ve been missed because the diagnostic system has traditionally been male-biased and autistic females tend to present differently," Ms Morgan said.

“I wanted to do something to help, so I created the website theautisticwoman.co.uk, the UK’s only comprehensive online autism resource written by an autistic woman. Writing Mothertongue seemed like the logical next step.”

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The book details her early struggles with bullying, enforced socialising, and sensory meltdowns.

It also explores periods of her life where she was tranquillised as a teenager due to severe anxiety, and bouts of autistic burnout she initially mistook for nervous breakdowns.

Zoe Gilbert, founder of Thorn & Haw Publications, said: “Mothertongue is a raw, honest and beautifully written memoir, and Alex’s story is relevant and important.

“Her experience of receiving a late diagnosis of autism is one that will resonate with so many women.”

Mothertongue is priced £10.99 and is available from bookshops and online at theautisticwoman.co.uk.