A Tom and Jerry moment as I got news from the cancer doctor - Susan Morrison

The Western General has the builders in. That’s not a euphemism, by the way. About time, really, some bits are a tad tired looking, but it's nothing a lick of paint, a few scatter cushions and a couple of million quid wouldn’t fix.

Friday, 18th June 2021, 7:00 am
Susan Morrison had a Tom and Jerry moment waiting for her cancer doctor. PIC: CC/Pixabay/Mahendra Mahendars
Susan Morrison had a Tom and Jerry moment waiting for her cancer doctor. PIC: CC/Pixabay/Mahendra Mahendars

We were there last week to get the results of my most recent scan.

That waiting room can be pretty intense. Trust me to break the tension.

My name was called, I leapt up, and a tiny mouse immediately shot out from between my shoes and raced across the room.

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I still can’t believe I blew the chance to leap on a stool screaming ‘THOMAASSSS’ at the top of my lungs.

Everyone looked at the mouse, then looked at me in a faintly accusing manner, as if I had something to do with it. I think I actually said ‘It's not my mouse’.

My oncologist, the incredibly commanding Lesley, took effortless charge. She pointed at the direction of travel the mouse had taken and said, ‘Mouse. Deal with it.’

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It’s the refurbishment, of course. The Western is an old and rambling building. Plenty of the wee, tim’rous beasties will have found their housies in ruin, as Burns would say.

I guess I’ll limber up for leaping onto chairs and screaming for Thomas for future visits. Looks like I’m going to be a Western General frequent flyer for a while. As Lesley said, the scan revealed something in the left lung they didn’t like. Aha, I thought. They’ve found Theresa May. Wondered where she went.

The immediate upshot is that I get another free go on a scanning machine.

Of course I’m annoyed. This upset my oncologist, and I don’t like that. She’s a great gal. Brilliant in a mouse-based emergency.

And let’s not forget, there are scalpel wielding surgeons with a can-do attitude, there’s radiotherapy, chemotherapy and immunotherapy, heck, I bet there’s even aromatherapy.

There are even self-help therapies. A compound called resveratrol seems to have an effect on cancer. It’s in blueberries and red wine. So, who has a recipe for a blueberry and Malbec smoothie?

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