Cheer up, only three years and nine months more madness - Vladimir McTavish
Until a few weeks ago, not many of us ordinary folk paid much attention to the concept of tariffs, unless it was in relation to our mobile phone contract.
Now, it’s been the word on everyone’s lips since the start of the month. And people are getting all hot under the collar any time it is mentioned.
It is even creating discord amongs Donald Trump’s inner circle, with Elon Musk describing the President’s trade adviser Peter Navarro as “dumb as a sack of bricks” and “a moron”.
Could this be the first signs of the inevitable and long predicted falling out between the world’s two most dangerous narcissists?
This story is changing so rapidly, it’s impossible to keep up. I’ve already had to re-write this paragraph 15 times in the last ten minutes. The moment I commit my thoughts to words, a news update pops up on my screen with the latest headline in the Great Trade War.
Only a fool would predict how it will have unfolded by this weekend. Actually, fools are probably best placed to guess the next bout of insanity to break out in the White House.
Having started the week by imposing draconian taxes on imports from countries he claimed nobody had heard of, he paused for breath midweek and announced a 90-day pause.
Doubtless this is so that US revenue officials can work out what’s going on. Although, since most of them were fired by Musk, it’s going to take a lot longer than three months to clear the backlog.
It’s difficult to escape the notion that this whole thing is being done for show. Government has quite literally morphed into reality TV.
Hence, we had a White House press briefing where the President claimed the US was making two billion dollars a day from the new tariffs.
This was fact- checked by a number of independent journalists who reckoned the actual figure to be about ten per cent of this. But why let 90 per cent of the truth get in the way of a photo opportunity?
Trump had earlier claimed that “Countries are kissing my ass to get a trade deal”. Although there have been no reports so far of the penguins in the Heard Islands lining up to peck him on either cheek. While China, far from kissing his ass, seemed intent on ramming a large blunt instrument right up it.
Over here in the UK, Keir Starmer spent most of the week bending over backwards to do nothing. Which may have proved quite a good idea.
Political commentators frequently refer to the President as “volatile”, which is modern-day media-speak for “stark staring bonkers”. So it could be that ignoring him was the best course of action.
As you would do if some deranged guy were noising off on the top deck of the bus. Sensible travellers keep their heads down, and do not make eye contact, hoping he’ll either run out of steam or get off at the next stop.
So why the 90-day pause? Was it a bargaining tool, a publicity stunt or a scam to promote insider trading?
With this particularly “volatile” President, any one of those explanations is credible. Cheer up! Only three years and nine months of this “volatility” to go.