Climate crisis is no laughing matter, as Scotland is discovering - Vladimir McTavish

Today, I should be driving up to do a gig in Aberdeen, weather permitting. For the past 48 hours, the other acts on the bill and I have been group messaging one another updates on Storm Babet.

Waves crash over the harbour on Thursday in Stonehaven

On Thursday, we were being told not to travel anywhere in the North-East unless our journey was “strictly necessary”. A car load of comedians heading up the A90 to talk bollocks for two-and-a-half hours to an increasingly drunk audience and then head back home again. Is that journey “strictly necessary” ? What do you think?

This has once again got me thinking about the carbon footprint of the trivial industry in which I work. Every August, comedians come from all over the globe to play the Fringe. Most weekends, I am travelling to another city in the UK. I use public transport wherever possible, although as a motorist I am now 75 per cent carbon neutral. I have achieved this through running-up nine points on my driving licence, three-quarters of the way to becoming 100 per cent carbon neutral.

That we are on to B in the alphabet of storms by the middle of October should itself be a warning.

That’s not normal. We may reach Storm Zoe by Christmas. While people of my generation notice these changes, it’s the youngest in society who will be most affected by climate change.

Greta Thunberg was 16 when she started the Climate Emergency movement. She’s now 20 and a global figure. When she first appeared on the world stage I forgot her name so I had to Google her. Which is why “16-year-old Swedish schoolgirl” is in my browsing history.

I care a lot about the future of the planet, even though it has very little to do with me. I’m in my sixties and I’m from Glasgow. According to statistics, I probably died around five years ago.

Earlier this week I drove three hours up north up to do a fund-raising show for an environmental charity. I agreed to do it for expenses. Nobody bought tickets, so I turned around and drove home. They lost £40 on their fund-raiser by paying for my petrol and the environment suffered due to my six-hour round trip. Strictly necessary? Of course not.