Coronavirus: We need to stick together (but also stay apart) – Susan Morrison

Joggers and cyclists need to learn to practice their social distancing a bit more amid the coronavirus outbreak, writes Susan Morrison.
A jogger in happier times before social distancing became a matter of life and death. Picture: Centre PressA jogger in happier times before social distancing became a matter of life and death. Picture: Centre Press
A jogger in happier times before social distancing became a matter of life and death. Picture: Centre Press

THE toilet roll situation is holding up. Remember Indyref? There was much concern over what Scotland would use as currency. Well, clearly the Scots value bog roll pretty highly. They’ll riot for it. I vote we adopt that in the event of Indyref2.

Where possible I’m taking my daily constitutional. The government says this is A Good Thing, and by strictly adhering to the rules, we can still get some fresh air.

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There are those in the community who have taken it upon themselves to police those guidelines with the zeal of Jesuits. They’ve taken to posting images on the internet of streets outside their window with two lonely dog walkers on either side of the road, with comments like “Look at this mob” underneath.

You can usually spot them when they make a dash for Lidl. They proudly say they aren’t ‘curtain twitchers’, but they sport a fist full of Elastoplast where they’ve cut their fingers on the Venetian blinds.

They might have a point about social distancing. People are great ones for just suddenly stopping, or turning left, or swinging sharp right.

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You have to keep more wits about you to avoid collisions than when you’re doing 75 on the M8.

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I propose we fit all pedestrians with lights on their backs so they can clearly indicate their intentions.

Some people need to get out. Those dog walkers for one thing, and who would blame a young mum I spotted, clearly at her wits end, pushing her buggy through the park. The racket coming from that one small baby was enough to qualify as form of contraception.

But can I make a bit of a plea? If you are running, you’re passing people. Take space.

If you’re cycling, stay off the bloody pavement, please. At a time when our roads have never been so quiet, here’s the chance to get good practice in to use them. Seize the city.

You might have taken to old railway paths. Good. Slow down. Tinging your little bell when you’re already in the back pocket of my jeans won’t do any good.

Let’s stay apart in solidarity, people.