Covid anxiety is bad enough without burglars on prowl – Hayley Matthews

Young children are going through enough in the lockdown without having to worry about someone breaking in, writes Hayley Matthews.

Security’s been stepped up in the Hayley household after a neighbour spotted a prowler

Oh it’s been a week. Things are starting to get quite difficult now with lockdown life. I’m finding that keeping everybody calm and at ease has been the biggest challenge lately. We’re all on edge! I’ve tried to dig deep and be patient but I don’t seem to be doing very well at it.

As if things werent difficult enough, my eight-year-old has recently developed some serious anxiety. He’s been a tad more anxious than your average kid but it’s escalated massively and come out of nowhere. He panics a lot and wants to know where I am all of the time. It’s draining for us all, especially him.

I’ve spoken to a few professionals about anxiety in children over the years and I understand that kids are carbon copies of their parents, and I’m the first to admit that I’m highly strung. However, this new panic really has sprouted from nowhere. Could it be the lockdown? Are other kids having the same issues?

I often think about what is “normal” behaviour for kids in these times. We’ve asked him to explain how he is feeling and if he is scared of the coronavirus situation because that’s what we thought had caused it. However, we were quite surprised by his reaction – that he doesn’t really care about the coronavirus because, and I quote: “I can’t catch it because I’m under ten!” So back to the drawing board it was.

It left us scratching our heads. Kids are funny beings, if only they could tell us what goes on in their little heads then it would make it so much easier for us to help them solve their problems. But to say it’s like getting blood from a stone is an understatement.

I suppose I should really be looking at body language and behaviour too as a communication tool instead of what they’re actually saying so I had another think at what’s caused this.

I also have to be aware of the things I’ve said in conversations that tiny ears have picked up on, and since the lockdown, there always seems to be a little pair of ears about every time I go to have a private conversation. If only these little ears could listen as intently to their instructions when I’m asking them to brush their teeth or tidy their room! Nonetheless, I should have been more careful when telling my partner that the neighbour had commented to me about how she’d seen a very suspicious looking man creeping about the back garden and chancing his arm at her patio doors.

So our security measures were stepped up (which was instructing Mr Hayley to make sure the back door locks are LOCKED) so that should I fall asleep with the baby and leave the door unlocked, which happens about once a year, the place is secure. But yes this conversation is what has been at the centre of a massive anxiety storm for my eight-year-old, leaving him feeling more agitated than Piers Morgan trying to get a straight answer from Matt Hancock!

But it’s got really exhausting for him. He wants someone to be in the garden with him all the time, he won’t be on his own in any part of the flat and he’s a nervous wreck in the car – mind you, most are when I’m driving.

I’ve always lived in the city and always have my wits about me but living with a laidback Highlander who is too trusting with people has catapulted my distrustful side to the fore. We need to find a balance because I can see my son inheriting my suspicious, anxious traits when I’d like him to be a bit more cool and controlled – like Marlon Brando in the Godfather.

So if the coronavirus has left you jobless and your fingers idle, please don’t go trying people’s back doors. You’ll only frighten the kids and they’re all going through enough just now.

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