Covid vaccine: For the Morrison clan matriarch, V-Day has arrived – Susan Morrison

Great excitement. The Matriarch of the Morrison Clan (Glasgow Branch) or, as I like to refer to her, mum, called to say that the NHS phoned to invite her to her vaccination.

Three different vaccines against the Covid-19 coronavirus have been approved for use in the UK (Picture: Radek Mica/AFP via Getty Images)

The woman who phoned was very nice, said mum, several times. She was full of instructions about where to go, what to do, what to expect and don’t turn up too early because they don't want queues.

This last is an important point, because you are dealing with the over-80s who still queue like there’s a war on, and, I suspect, rather like it.

The queue was what the postwar generation had instead of the internet. Trust me, gossip flew through Glasgow queues faster than 5G, even into the 1960s, when I used to stand outside the fruit shop, holding mums hand and hear the information exchange above my head. Quite literally, when it came to "who’s the daddy” speculation about Mamie McCartney’s latest baby.

The lady in front of mum suspected the scrapyard man, and said we’d all know soon enough because he was so bandy-legged he couldn’t stop a runaway dug up a close. The women glanced down and saw me and switched to silent mode.

The trouble is, mum can’t queue like she used to. Most of her pals are the same so, if you get the call from the NHS and they tell you to turn up on time or as close as you can, please do it, they won’t run out.

They’re setting a cracking pace with the older generation. This might soon lead to a world where only the over-75s will be allowed out of the house. The ‘night-time’ entertainment economy will have to re-adjust to this new clientele. I look forward to seeing the over-80s hitting the town clubbing.

I have to say though – wonderful though this effort is – I’m slightly put out. They get stickers post-vaccination. What’s this? Eight rounds of chemotherapy, three weeks of radiotherapy, four surgeries and what did I get? Nothing. Well, there was that time they gave me a whisky, but you get my point.

A message from the Editor:

Thank you for reading this article. We're more reliant on your support than ever as the shift in consumer habits brought about by coronavirus impacts our advertisers.

If you haven't already, please consider supporting our trusted, fact-checked journalism by taking out a digital subscription.