Covid vaccines: I've got a message for all the greetin’ faced wee horrors who scorn them – Susan Morrison
That’s me in the ranks of the fully double dosed. When the vaccine really kicks in, I can snog George Clooney.
It was completely painless and cheerfully administered with the sort of ruthless efficiency you usually see in Bond villains' plans, until Jimbo 007 turns up in a dinner suit and spoils the fun for everyone.
Side-effects? I had a few, but then again, too few to mention. Regrets? Not a one.
These vaccines are stunning achievements. Humanity can be great when we work together. Look at our communities. We locked down, masked up and stayed home. It was a testament to our care for our fellow human beings, even those greetin’ faced wee horrors who scorn vaccinations and bleat that Covid never existed.
We helped stop the virus infecting intellectual powerhouses like those strange men who decry the vaccinations, claiming they are unsafe because, according to them, "it hasn’t been tested”. Apparently, their bodies are temples and they are fussing about what they put in them. Which is odd, because what has been tested, and quite exhaustively, are the fags they tend to be dragging on whilst they drone away.
We protected people like the Covid-denier who Yorkshire police sought earlier this year. This bloke proved his point by filming himself licking the keypads of cash machines. Dunno about you, but my hand sanitiser is staying on stand-by.
Enter Piers Corbyn, who says that forcing us to wear masks is ‘authoritarian’. That sound is Stalin laughing.
These bleating boys say they fight for freedom, but what they really mean is, their own freedom, because they don’t want to do it.
They are rather like the brats you used to find propping up the bar bombastically booming out that they didn’t need seatbelts, smoking indoors was their right, and they drove better after a few pints, three double whiskies and a Cognac.
None of us wanted to wear masks, get jabs or shut down our lives, but we did these things for other, vulnerable people and to protect the NHS.
Here’s the ironic thing. Among the lives saved will be theirs. Just stop them licking cash machines. Please.