Farage, Starmer or a guy dressed as a monkey? I’ve made my mind up
Keir Starmer has been such a Jekyll and Hyde character these past few weeks he would stretch the imagination of Robert Louis Stevenson.
On one hand, he has been doing the things people expect of a Labour PM, and which he was elected to do. Namely, forging closer links with the EU and hinting at restoring the winter fuel payment. On the other, he has been parroting Reform UK on immigration with some ill-chosen words about Britain becoming “a nation of strangers”, which had echoes of Enoch Powell’s notorious “rivers of blood” speech from the late sixties.
This is a sign of the rightward shift in this country in the last 50-odd years. In 1968, Powell became persona-non-grata in the Tory Party due to his xenophobic views. Now, we hear similar words coming out of the mouth a Labour Prime Minister. The only winner was Nigel Farage, as it looks as if the PM is caving in to Reform’s lie that immigration hurts the economy.
There is still a long way to go until the next election, but he is currently ahead in the polls. Farage as PM? Surely not, he only exists to have milkshakes thrown at him. A joke ten years ago, he is now a genuine danger. And the pint-and-a-fag man of the people persona is a total fraud. Nigel Farage has a known net worth of £3.2 million. Despite being at the vanguard of Brexit, as an ex-MEP he draws an annual pension of £73,000 from the EU. He successfully applied for German passports for his children, as their mother is from Germany. Double standards? He’s a total phoney. I’d be willing to bet the guy doesn’t even actually smoke.
As for being in touch with the people, this is a man who thought the best way to escape an angry mob of Scottish people in Edinburgh was to hide in a pub. Who hides from Scottish people in a pub?Political experts have put Reform’s rise down to people being disillusioned by politics in general. OK, but if you really feel scunnered by mainstream politics, you can spoil your ballot paper or register an actual protest vote. Vote for Count Binface or The Monster Raving Loony Party. Or do what the people of Hartlepool did a few years ago. Elect a man dressed as a monkey to a major office. In 2002, one of the candidates for the town’s mayor was H’Angus The Monkey, Hartlepool United FC’s mascot. He was a man dressed as a monkey, in reference to the town’s folklore, that during the Napoleonic Wars, the locals hanged a monkey they mistook for a French spy. H’Angus, real name Stuart Drummond, not only won, but was re-elected in 2005 and 2009.
There are over four years to go before the UK’s next General Election so you have plenty of time to decide who should be the next Prime Minister. Nigel Farage, Keir Starmer or a guy dressed as a monkey. I’ve already made my mind up.