Forget Oasis, I’m going for Lulu concert tickets at the Usher Hall - Vladimir McTavish

Lulu performs at 'D-Day 80 - Remembering the Normandy Landings' at the Royal Albert Hall

I saw her being interviewed on TV last week, looking every bit as young as she did 20 years ago. Twenty years ago, she looked every bit as young as she had done 20 years prior to that.

The obvious answer would be that she’s had some kind of cosmetic work done, but we have never been told about this. Which is strange in this day and age.

Whereas in the past, celebrities used to be somewhat coy about admitting to plastic surgery, nowadays they all like to boast about it in the pages of magazines like Heat, under headlines like “I love my new sixty-inch bum says Katie.”

Lulu rocked the charts as a teenager with that immortal classic Shout. And has had a number of hits since then, none of which immediately spring to mind right now.

Also, every time she appears to speak in an entirely different accent. English, American, trans-Atlantic; for a brief time she even tried sounding Scottish but obviously decided that didn’t work for her.

Could it be that the real Lulu retired years ago, and the current version an avatar, like the ones Abba use for their gigs ?

Or it could be, that there is more than one Lulu. It could be some kind of franchise thing, where various people play the part. For example, there are a number of different duos performing Puppetry Of The Penis.

Apparently, the original double-act unsurprisingly grew tired of manipulating their genitals on stage night after night, so they trained up a number of other people in the craft of this surreal art form.

I might have missed out on Oasis tickets, but I’m definitely going to see Lulu. If only to see which accent she’s using and which face she’s wearing when she sings the one hit that I remember.