Getting a year older is no joke (or is it?) – Steve Cardownie

As I write this on my birthday (yesterday) and preparing to meet some friends at the West End for a couple of drinks, I am acutely aware that I will likely be the butt of a few jokes regarding my age.

Steve Cardownie celebrated his birthday yesterday (Picture: Olivier Douliery/AFP via Getty Images)

Whilst I have always put greater store in attitude rather than age, I cannot deny that my friends will not allow that to get in the way of a ribbing so I thought that I would beat them to the punch, so here goes;

You know your getting old when… you and your teeth don’t sleep together.

When people call at 9pm and say “Did I wake you?”

When happy hour is a nap.

When all you want for your birthday is not to be reminded about your age.

When there’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

On my wife’s last birthday, I bought her an expensive bottle of wine which we shared and after a couple of glasses I blurted out “I love you”, to which she replied “Is that you or the wine talking?” “It’s me,” I said, “I’m talkin’ to the wine.”

A twin complains to his mother: “You said that you didn’t have a favourite between me and Davie.” To which she replies: “We don’t darling, what would make you say such a thing?” “Then how come I’m blowin’ up balloons for his surprise birthday party?”

Well that’s it, I can hear a barman calling my name so I’m off to enjoy my day and remember that life is not a fairy tale, if you lose a shoe at midnight – you’re drunk!

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