Girlguiding veterans urged to re-wiggle their woggle as volunteers

This, I fear, does not include me. Yes, many years ago I did sign up and swore “to be true to myself and … to serve the Queen” but my career was less than stellar. For one thing, I quickly got the feeling I’d been oversold on the “serving the Queen” bit. I fear I expected something a little more dramatic.

Girlguiding Scotland is hosting an evening in its Scottish Headquarters om April 23, and would love any guiding veterans to come along and see what opportunities there are

The blame for this misunderstanding lies squarely at the feet of Errol Flynn. I had recently watched him in The Sea Hawk, defending Elizabeth I with some seriously nifty swordplay. This, I thought, is the game for me, serving my monarch with my trusty sword.

To prepare, I nicked my mum’s wooden ruler to “fence” up and down the stairs, and pretended to go hilt-to-hilt whilst trading quip-for-quip with Basil Rathbone (Robin Hood).

Turned out the Guides had no need of a swordsperson to defend the Elizabeth then on the throne. They were much keener on cake baking, birdwatching and semaphore. This last was considered a crucial skill. This was the 60s remember. We were never in any doubt that one day the Red Menace would swarm our shores.

The signals had to get through. And so I learned how to message with two wee flags on sticks. I will remind you, this was the height of the Cold War. Our enemies, and our friends, could drop bombs that would have blasted my stick-and-flag combo to cinders, even before I’d got the first letter of “Bloody hell, there’s a Soviet tank in the garden” out.

Ah well, it wasn’t the fault of the Guides. They did the best they could with the poor material they had. Oddly I did learn a thing or two from them about teamwork and planning. So, if you were a better guide than me, I’m sure they’d love to hear from you.

Find out more at www.girlguidingscotland.org.uk/events/return-to-guiding-edinburgh