This week’s story about council leader Adam McVey blaming Westminster for the SNP’s local authority funding gap shows how it’s done. Despite frittering £350m this year on a referendum which won’t be held, a £371m hole in council budgets is the Tories’ fault. Now, repeat after Adam.
But of course, no Supreme Leader does it on their own. There may be an i in inept, or three in idiotic, but as they say there’s no i in team. What would have happened to Ant without Dec, Laurel minus Hardy, or Chuckle without his brother?
So measure your suitability for high office against the Civic Deputy Administrator’s Yardstick, ten simple principles for supporting roles:
1, Agree bonkers plans so the leader takes the flak.
2, Nod them through and say as little as possible while the leader takes the flak.
3, Hope no-one will notice it’s your fault too.
4, Tell everyone else to shut up and let the leader take the flak.
5, When one of your side speaks out, say as little as possible.
6, When one of your side speaks out again, find them a new job.
7, When one of your side speaks out in their new job, find them another job.
8, If you can’t give them a job, suspend them.
9, If in doubt about 1-8, ask the unions and blame the Tories.
10, Laugh it all off because it’s just a lark anyway.
Good Luck!
John McLellan is a Conservative councillor for Craigentinny/Duddingston