Hospital Tuesday joins Moustache Wednesday on superstition list
Comedians are a fairly superstitious bunch of people at the best of times. Many of us, myself included, don’t like to be paid cash before we go on stage in case we have a bad gig.
This, of course, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. First of all, if you do have a bad gig after accepting cash beforehand, at least you still have the money in your pocket.
Secondly, over the years I’ve worked for a number of very dodgy bookers who have mysteriously gone missing at the end of a show. In some cases I’ve had to hang around for hours before they reappear with my fee. In one particular instance, it took several days and an unscheduled trip to Airdrie before the promoter handed over a brown envelope in a pub car park. It must have looked very suspect. Thankfully no one had been tailing me. Obviously not. I’d driven to Airdrie. Only a complete idiot or a lemming would had followed me there.
Anyway, superstition goes into overdrive during the Edinburgh Fringe. Performers are utterly paranoid about doing anything which might jinx their show. All kinds of superstitions, traditions and folklore have sprung up over the years. Many days have been given names as they are allegedly where things go wrong or audiences don’t turn up. We have Black Monday, Moustache Wednesday, Hangover Sunday and Dead Thursday. However, the experiences of myself and my temporary housemate Seymour Mace may establish a new superstition, a new day to avoid. We’re calling it Hospital Tuesday.
Seymour is lodging with my family for the month. On Tuesday afternoon, he was cycling down Dublin Street after his show at The Stand. He was approaching the junction with Albany Street. It’s a really dangerous crossing and I’ve had some near misses there in the car. Traffic coming along Albany Street and Abercromby Place seem to think they have priority and I’ve had to slam on the anchors several times in the past.
Despite Seymour having right of way, a car pulled out in front of him and he ended up crashing into it and hitting his head on its windscreen. He was rushed to A&E at the Royal Infirmary where they patched him up as best they could. He arrived back at our place at 2am with 20 stitches on his head in a wound so severe it looked like he’d been to TV studio make-up. He also fractured several metatarsals and was wearing a moon boot which made him walk like the pirate in Family Guy.
This all happened exactly 52 weeks after I was taken into A&E in an ambulance when I had a mysterious seizure. I was kept in for three days and had to cancel several shows. Seymour had to cancel Wednesday and Thursday but is back on stage this weekend. So we’re now calling the Tuesday of Week 2, Hospital Tuesday. I joked to our other lodger, Irish comedian Ian Coppinger that it will be his turn next year.
Anyway, go and see Seymour Mace Does Things With Stuff at 12.45pm at Stand 2. He needs to sell tickets to pay for a new bike. But be careful if you’re out and about in week 2 next year. Hospital Tuesday will be August 18.