How the humble pom pom has transformed my family life – Hayley Matthews

It can be a struggle parenting with no support. I often ask myself if I'm "doing it right" which I always felt was self-doubt, until a friend once told me why it's a good thing.

Pom poms are not just for hats (Picture: Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

She said the parents who don't question themselves or wonder how they could be doing it better are often the ones demonstrating "unhelpful" parenting styles.

So with a seven-year age gap between my boys, arguments are rife just now. Mainly due to them both wanting different things, whilst communicating in different ways. So we do tend to have a lot of screaming and the odd outburst.

That was until a friend came to the rescue with her pom poms. She told me how she'd ordered a massive bag of these wee woolly balls and two jars.

Her kids have a jar each and when they're good or displaying positive behaviour, they get a pom pom. When they're naughty, they get one taken out the jar.

When the jar is full, they get a toy/treat/choice of movie etc. You get the idea. Doesn't have to be anything monetary, it’s just a way of giving the child the power and control over their own rewards.

Get small jars so the kids don't have to wait ages for their treat, or it loses momentum.

I wish I'd had a jar to fill with pom poms when I was wee, the only thing I got to fill was a worry jar. But seriously, if your kids need something to see to monitor their treats – all you need is a jar and a big bag of pom poms!