I don’t want to depress you, but happy useless statistics day - Vladimir McTavish

Good luck with that

Likewise, I was driving down to Manchester on a Friday afternoon in January a few years back, listening to a feature on Radio 5 which informed me that I was travelling on the most dangerous day of the year.

According to research carried out by someone in some university somewhere, there are more road traffic accidents on the second Friday of January than on any other day.

I wonder who it is that sits around compiling there utterly pointless statistics. I wasn’t likely to turn down a gig that involved a motorway trip just because I’d heard I was numerically more susceptible to being stuck in a queue on the M6 due to crash ten miles ahead.

Very few people are superstitious nowadays. Statistics like these have replaced superstition in our culture. Pub bores love to drop them into conversation. For example, everyone knows that most accidents happen in the home. But did you know that the most common cause of household accidents is putting on your trousers?

Again, what is the point in knowing that? It doesn’t seem to have affected most people’s dressing habits, thankfully. So was yesterday the most dangerous day of the year for you?

Just to be on the safe side, I decided to wear my kilt. I didn’t want to run the risk of tripping over my trousers. That would have made Monday very depressing.

Be warned. If the second Friday on the year falls on January 13, don’t get behind the wheel of your car. Unless your journey is essential. But, just to be safe, don’t wear your trousers. And if you must wear your trousers, make sure you put them on somewhere other than your own home. But don’t walk under a ladder on your way there.

Anyway, statistics and superstition aside, I know for a fact that tomorrow will be the most depressing day of the year for me. It’s my birthday. When you reach my age, that really is a cause for the January blues.