I lie awake at night fearing for my new neighbours - Hayley Matthews

I have new neighbours and I'm scared for them, actually, I'd even go as far as saying I'm terrified for them.

I lay awake at night, worrying for them and I'm not quite sure how to help. I want to help them, I also kind of want to protect them, however we've only just had a quick "hello, I'm your new neighbor!" so to pounce on them like a protective mother lion, may for some, seen a bit clingy.

You might be wondering what I'm on about, especially if you haven't read my "neighbour" situation before, so let me explain.

I fear for them because "Mad Margaret" is still in the hood, and I think lockdown has turned her slightly batty and dare I say it, even more passive aggressive than she was before. She's the one who takes her washing poles in (so nobody else uses them), puts your washing in a black bag and leaves it at your door if you use "her line" and picks up wrappers from the garden that she thinks belong to me - then pegs them to my washing line.

How I've not had a Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" moment and battered her door down, I have no idea. I think Mr Hayley's laid back, easygoing temperament is brushing off on me and making me go all soft and fluffy.

But back to the issue in hand, how to I protect my happy, smiley, loving-their-new- home neighbours from the grumpy beast watching everyone's move, waiting to pounce on the washing lines during the night?

Do I warn them about the territorial washing line situation? Do I warn them of "Mad Margaret?" and her strange ways? Do I light the fire pit of an evening, welcome them and launch into our "Mad Margaret" survival stories over a glass of wine? Or would a social gathering and happy faces be like a red flag to a bull? And gosh, not to even mention the smoke from a fire pit?

How dare I think about welcoming our new neighbours - it would only give more reasons for Moany Margaret to bump her gums and quite frankly - I don't think I'd be able to hold my temper with her much longer.

I'm actually embarrassed for the way she behaves and how she's treated previous neighbours. I'd given up on telling people it wasn’t me who put their washing on their back door handle in a large black bin bag. However, I really like these new neighbours and I want them to know I'm not an A-hole!

Maybe I should be giving Mad Margaret the benefit of the doubt, waiting to see if she's learnt any social skills this past while.

My gut feeling tells me she'll just carry on as normal, acting like she runs the show while owning all rights to the washing lines and taking great enjoyment finding new gob-smacking ways be passive aggressive.

I may sound harsh, but if I catch her in the back garden, black bag in hand peeling washing off "her line" to dump at the new neighbours back door then I might just put her in the black bag.

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