I really hope Victoria Derbyshire helped someone escape misery of domestic violence in lockdown – Hayley Matthews

By writing the domestic abuse hotline number on her hand during her TV show, Victoria Derbyshire made a powerful statement and hopefully helped someone escape, writes Hayley Matthews

Hayley Matthews says thank you to Victoria Derbyshire for using her platform to highlight the problem of domestic abuse during the lockdown (Picture: Dominic Lipinski/PA)

It was lovely to see Victoria Derbyshire wearing a rainbow t-shirt earlier on in the week as she delivered the daily grim news.

She’s been great recently at giving messages on screen. Her support for the NHS by wearing a rainbow was obvious. However, her writing the number for the domestic abuse hotline on her hand was less so, yet still powerful enough to get noticed.

How nice it is to see someone using their platform to show appreciation and do a little good. On the domestic violence topic, it’s something that’s been worrying me more recently.

The rise in figures on domestic violence since the lockdown is horrific. Women, children and men suffering in violent situations during lockdown must be horrendous. I feel helpless.

I think about the kids the most, to be honest, the ones who through no fault of their own are in a situation that isn’t ideal.

There will be many sadly who go to school and nursery for a safe haven and a warm meal. I’ve seen kids being walked down the road by their parents who have been swearing and shouting at them.

I dread to think what goes on behind closed doors if this is what happens out in public. But I know the parents are struggling too.

A very violent world

It’s no excuse but I often wonder if it’s what is happening to them too. It’s probably because anger and violence is all they know. They’re doing their best, it’s just their best is really terrible.

With news everywhere about the amount of deaths of women and children rising since the lockdown began, it’s a harsh reality that we live in a very violent world and for some there literally is no way out.

I was chatting to my partner about it the other night and I asked him why he thinks this happens, why are people so cruel to someone they’re meant to love.

He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and said: “I really don’t know”.

A softer, gentler soul you’ll never meet and I could see him trying to comprehend being violent towards another person, or a child, left him with no answer.

Waking up in a cold sweat

I’m not being smug, believe me, I’ve had my share of domestic violence with a previous partner. One that took me a while to escape and being quite young at the time I found it incredibly difficult.

I felt trapped and was on the receiving end of a lot of physical violence with no idea how to stop it. I’ll write about it one day but I’ll need to dig deep first.

I still, years on from it, wake up in a cold sweat that I’m still with him. He’s the reason I have a false front tooth and a fear of a particular part of Edinburgh.

The damage from physical and mental abuse can never be underestimated, never.

Wanting an answer to my question, I pressed my partner “Why do people act like this?” We came to the conclusion that it must come down to power, control and how insecure the perpetrators is to do such things.

There will be people reading this just now who are in those situations, and god how I wish we could help. Never must it be harder than to escape a violent situation than it is now so please be considerate when you see a parent walking with all their children because they might just be fleeing a violent home, running for their lives and trying to protect their children.

So thank you Victoria for realising the power you have and for using it to help and support others, it might just have helped someone out there escape.

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