I wouldn’t buy a used car off this Reform rabble, let alone a policy - Vladimir McTavish

On Thursday, he was welcoming Robert Jenrick and announcing Lord Offord as his party’s new leader in Scotland. On Tuesday, he did a photo opportunity with his highest-profile Tory turncoat to date, in the rather unappealing form of ex-cabinet minister Nadhim Zahawi.

Reform are continually banging on about shaking up the tired old two-party system of British politics, of offering a new vision and a fresh start. Yet, they are increasing beginning to look like like the same old bunch who spent 14 years in power running this country to its knees.

And nobody embodies useless self-serving recent Conservative governments quite like Nadhim Zahawi.

Even compared to other recent Tory defectors, this guy is seriously damaged goods. It appears he is only joining Reform because he’s in the huff for not getting a peerage.

So, having been deemed as not respectable enough for elevation to The House Of The Living Dead, he’s opted to join The Party Of The Brain Dead.

Even when compared to the motley crew of barrow boys, morally-bankrupt chancers and rascals who served under Boris Johnson, Zahawi always seemed sleezier than the rest.

His career has been dogged by financial scandals and tax dodges. He appears to have few political beliefs other than self-preservation. He is the personification of opportunism.

For example, he took the job of Chancellor of the Exchequer when Rishi Sunak resigned, pledging faith in Johnson. A mere 48 hours later, he told Boris that he ought to quit as PM.

The old litmus test for the honesty of politicians, is to ask the question “Would you buy a second-hand car from this person?” It is a good way of judging their integrity, regardless of whether you agree with them.

For example, I would definitely buy a second-hand car from Theresa May. It would have very low mileage on the clock and never have gone above 20 miles per hour. Conversely, I wouldn’t buy one from Liz Truss. It might have very low mileage, but would have ridiculously high fuel consumption and its big end would already have broken.

I would buy one from Keir Stamer as it would appear solid and reliable. However, it might end up driving better in reverse gear than it did going forward.

If Ed Davey offered me a second-hand car, I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole. It would probably have been driven into a lake as part of some inane publicity stunt.

Boris Johnson? Definitely not. Nadhim Zahawi? Never in a million years. You just can’t trust the guy. For someone who last week appeared to believe in nothing, he now loudly claims Britain is sinking under mass immigration. He’s the son of a political refugee from Iran. You could hear the drawbridge being raised as he issued that statement.

Of course, you don’t really need a moral compass to hang out with Our Nige. He’s never been too concerned about the company he keeps, brown-nosing up to Trump, and hobnobbing with the likes of Elon Musk. He’s also an avowed admirer of Vladimir Putin.

Among such a rogues gallery, Nadhim Zahawi will find himself very much at home.