It’s back to hearts and flowers as call for PM to quit fizzles out - Vladimir McTavish

For young people, especially in new relationships, it’s a must. But it really is a case of splashing out money in place of genuine affection. Try buying a cheap bunch of roses this weekend, or booking a table-for-two last minute, and you’ll be very disappointed.

Red roses and Champagne are back on as Labour at Westminster and its Scottish branch office kiss and make up

And pity the poor single-tons working in hospitality who have to witness hours of other couples’ gooey romanticism tonight.

I’m married, so do I need to pledge undying love to my wife today? Probably not, as she’ll jus tell me to shut and not disturb her watching “Terms OF Affection” on DVD.

I don’t know how many Valentine’s cards either Anas Sarwar or Keir Starmer will receive today. I suspect not many.

Although the Prime Minister did announce this week that he loved his country. Will his country bother popping a billet roux in the post?

In a speech on Tuesday the PM vowed “I will never walk away from the country I love”. I assume he was referring to the United Kingdom as a whole, as it’s actually pretty simple to walk away from England.

If you’re in Berwick, Carlisle or Ross-on-Wye, you’re just a short stroll away from a border. Whereas walking away from the UK would involve walking on water. And everyone agrees that Starmer is never going to achieve such Christ-like powers.

He was responding to Anas Sarwar’s speech on Monday, calling for him to resign, claiming that “the distraction needs to end and the leadership in Downing Street has to change”. Ironically, this merely ramped up the distraction.

While it was good to see Labour’s Scottish leader get more TV air time in three days than in whole of the rest of his career, it does now seem a daft move.

Obviously done to boost his popularity with Holyrood elections soon. Labour are currently running third in the polls, behind Reform UK, and Starmer’s unpopularity up here is cited as a major factor.

Imagine being considered more loathsome than Nigel Farage by Scottish people? Takes some doing, eh? Sarwar was probably guessing Welsh Labour too would make a similar move, as they don’t like the PM in the Valleys either. But they chickened out at the last minute. Traditionally they have been much braver in challenging HQ than their Celtic cousins in Holyrood.

Starmer hit back the next day saying that he supported Anas and that the whole of the Labour Party wants Sarwar as First Minister, spectacularly missing the point. Namely that what the Labour Party wants doesn’t count, he needs the people of Scotland to want him to be FM. And not enough of them do.

It then turned out that even Scottish Labour weren’t on board with Sarwar. High spirits caused things to get a little bit out of hand. Everyone was back to work as usual in a few days, loyally doing what they were told by London.

A revolt in Branch Office? No just a storm in a teacup lasting little longer than a tea break. They’ve fallen back in love with each other just in time for Valentine’s Day.