John Gibson: Are they taking their medication?

It’s not easy putting the lid on the laughter. You just can’t stifle a hoot when you see what the Scottish Government plan to do next. Teach five-year-olds a foreign language in P1, and learn another in P5.

So help me, foreign languages for five-year-olds and see where it will get them! Employers will tell you that most teenagers are leaving school with nothing to show even for their basic education. Cannae write. Cannae spell. Cannae converse in elementary English.

Costing millions. And those numpties down at Holyrood – the Cuckoos Nest – apparently think learning an additional lingo is a great wheeze.

For to let you know, the so-called Learning Minister is an Alasdair Allan. Careful if you catch him at the Nest. He could be taking his medication.

Still stricken

Bewitched? Still a wee bit bewildered over a football result. Like my dear old mum (or was it Dionne Warwick?) used to tell me, you’ll never go to heaven if you hate the Hearts.

Afterwords . .

. . . Irvine Welsh still has “pull” when he can drag Hibernian, even in their current predicament, into the Sunday Times mag.