John Gibson: Oh, Lesley, how could you do it?

Hindsight. I thought Lesley Hinds had more sense. More between the ears.

I’ve known her a long time, since we met over a refreshment in her office in the City Chambers and discussed the red shoes that made the headlines.

Now she’s been headlining again and I can barely believe it. She volunteered to take charge of the Great Trams Fiasco. It can’t be true.

Listen, Lesley. I’m talking to you. Getting embroiled in the trams trauma is the worst move by far you’ve made in your political career. You’ll live to regret it, mark these words.

Are those shoes still in your wardrobe, by the way?

It should be an all-ticket affair, watching her dig a hole for herself in shambolic Shandwick Place.

She just never should have got involved but there . . . she’s gone and done it.

She could charge folk, the passing throng, to see her up to the knees in the glaur, and make it a ticket-only spectacle. Name your charity, Lesley.

Vegging out

Bingo, this is Ringo talking in depth! Every bit as imaginative as he was when, as a core member of the Beatles, Ringo Starr was drummer and conversationalist. A national newspaper is quoting him: “Our asparagus has come up a treat.”

Spot the vegetable. The asparagus or the drummer?