John Gibson: Tommy’s more reliable than trams

It was the incredible Tommy Carson’s 90th and what better way to celebrate one’s birthday than to be presented with the British Empire Medal?

The Queen thought our Lord Provost, Donald Wilson, should officiate, so the ceremony, attended by friends and relatives, was held in the City Chambers.

A 21-gun salute wouldn’t have been inappropriate, tireless Tommy having spent most of his life organising a better quality of life for others.

Ninety and nifty with it. “I’ve started reading the Bible,” he quipped. “A sign of old age is when the Pope looks young . . . I hope every one of you lives to be a hundred and my voice is the last one you’ll hear.”

Tommy’s crack-after-crack banter earned the biggest cheer when he forecast he’ll reach 100 before the trams start running.

Too true, Tommy, too true.

Kranking it up

Two good reasons why even the most reluctant travellers among us should be planning to camp as distant as possible, like the Galapagos Islands, come panto time: Janette and Ian Tough – the Krankies.

The pair will be scaling the beanstalk this Christmas in Glasgow, nearest to Edinburgh that we ever want them to be. You can picture them now with those endearing trademark grins. Libellous words fail me.

Get hooked

Don’t get hurt in the rush. Abu (son Sabu was the elephant boy in the Hollywood classic) Hamza has donated his notorious hook to charity, at a bingo hall in Leith. Which hall and where exactly is still “classified”. The Ministry of Defence has details. Don’t get hung up on this.

Why Abu chose Leith remains a mystery.