King Charles' coronation will see London decked out like Ibrox on match day. Guess where this Celtic fan will be – Vladimir McTavish

I have been trying to avoid using the C-word in this column of late.
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However, after visiting London last weekend, some folks in Englandshire do seem to be getting a bit too excited about the upcoming Coronation.

Every other supermarket window appeared to be decked out in Union flags, and all around Whitehall and Westminster, they are erecting flag poles every ten yards. I reckon there will soon be so many Union Jacks flying in London, the city is going to look like Ibrox on match day.

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Despite being a Celtic fan with republican beliefs, I wish I’d had the presence of mind to buy shares in whatever company is manufacturing all of this royalist bunting. All said and done, It has been a particularly fruitful 12 months for the Union Jack industry.

London likes to mark royal events with plenty of Union flags (Picture: Oli Scarff/Getty Images)London likes to mark royal events with plenty of Union flags (Picture: Oli Scarff/Getty Images)
London likes to mark royal events with plenty of Union flags (Picture: Oli Scarff/Getty Images)

Last spring, when Rangers reached the Europa League final in Seville, fans were snapping up anything red-white-and-blue to wear on their jaunt to southern Spain. The following month, the Queen’s platinum jubilee led to a further upsurge in consumption.

After the Last Night of the Proms, there was Her Majesty’s funeral in September. We then had England fans getting flagged up for the World Cup in Qatar. And finally, there’s next month’s Coronation. That’s a big Union Jack event nearly every other month, so some company’s raking it in. In this orgy of patriotic flag-waving, I wonder how many of these Union Jacks are actually produced in Britain. Precious few, I’d wager.

But how many people actually care about the Coronation? According to a recent YouGov poll, 51 per cent of Britons do not believe this jamboree should be funded from the public purse while less than half of young people are even interested.

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That doesn’t stop the BBC flooding their schedules with sycophantic royalist drivel for the next fortnight. Thank the Lord for Channel 4. Their coverage will consist of a documentary about Prince Andrew. That’s what I call balance.

I was planning to try my best to avoid the whole shebang. Then I consulted my diary to see where I’ll be on May 6. Believe it or not, I’m going to be back in London...