Leith suffering an outbreak of the ferry boo-boos

Passengers board CalMac's MV Glen Sannox on its first full day in service (Picture: John Devlin)

Yes, the living room has been referred to as “The Titanic Lounge” on account of the number of prints and paintings. In my defence I should point out that one is actually a wiring blueprint and the other a framed White Star Line cap badge. Yes, there are two models, three if you count the little metal one not yet assembled. There are another two upstairs, although one is her sister ship, RMS Olympic. And yes, the bookshelf is full of books on the subject.

So with my passing interest in a ship lost on her maiden voyage, you’d expect me to high-tail it down to join the first sailing of the MV Glen Sannox. Sadly, I couldn’t get there. It might have been tempting fate a little too much. Although, had it all gone terribly wrong, I am the woman who knows how to handle a lifeboat, even the collapsible ones. Well, as long as they were Engelharts built by McAlister and Son of Dumbarton, circa 1910.

No, I watched her leave and wished her well, even though she had to sail from Troon, because in the entire saga of her building no one seems to have taken a measuring tape down to Ardrossan and realised something was amiss. Our new ferry is too big for the space. Good lord, I don’t even move a wardrobe these days without checking.

There’s an outbreak of big ferry boo-boos right now. Down here in Leith we’ve got Spirit of Tasmania, a beast of a boat with no home. Clearly they don’t have measuring tapes in Oz, either. C’mon, guys, you used to get them free in Ikea.

Glen Sannox has taken longer to build than the Titanic and her two sisters combined. Here’s hoping that she never needs her lifeboats, but if required, I am on hand to help remotely.