Let’s hope American democracy doesn’t go up in flames next week - Vladimir McTavish

Guy Fawkes Night effigy of Donald Trump

While this was traditionally celebrated by disaffected teenagers throwing bricks at fire engines, more modern customs have become increasingly popular such as setting off fireworks and burning bonfires.

This is, as we know, all to commemorate the events of November 5 in 1605, when a plot to blow up parliament was foiled.

Contrary to myth, Guido Fawkes and his fellow conspirators were not burned at the stake.

They were actually hanged, drawn and quartered. But why let historical fact get in the way of setting stuff on fire for fun?

Also on Tuesday, voters in the USA will be going to the polls to elect their next president. If they choose the wrong person, they may inadvertently be setting fire to their own centuries-old democracy.

A victory for Donald Trump could prove disastrous for both America and the wider world.

This could lead to a bonfire of the democratic rights enshrined in the Declaration of Independence.

Trump has boasted that he will become a dictator if re-elected, that he will change the constitution. He has recently spoken in glowing terms about the achievements of Hitler.

While he tends to open his mouth before engaging his brain, such utterances are still a wee bit worrying.

It is likely to be worse news for the people of Ukraine, likely to abandoned and left at the mercy of Putin. The Middle-East is already in flames and a Republican victory next week will be the equivalent of throwing paraffin onto the fire.

The planet itself is, of course, already burning and Trump will do nothing to douse the inferno, believing that global warming is fake news invented by China.

Ironically his biggest supporter is a narcissistic billionaire who made his fortune by selling electric cars. Elon Musk himself obviously cares little about the environment, channeling his profits into gas-guzzling space rockets and championing a climate change denier for the White House. It’s a crazy world out there.

Trump’s mental stability is also a huge issue. In numerous speeches, he has heaped praise on Hannibal Lecter, as if he believed him to be a real person.

It is not beyond the bounds of possibility that he actually does.

He has also claimed that Haitian refugees have been stealing and eating people’s cats and dogs in Springfield, Ohio. I’m not sure what is the more disturbing explanation. Would you vote for a candidate who lied about immigrants eating pets? Equally would you elect someone deranged enough to believe it was true?

I’m sure I’m not the only person to think “This is someone who worships Hannibal Lecter. Isn’t that the guy who ate human beings? That’s worse than eating dogs, surely?”

The Sussex town of Lewes traditionally stages a huge Guy Fawkes parade every Bonfire Night. Giant effigies of famous historical characters and present-day villains are carried through the streets before being burned on an enormous funeral pyre.

In the past these have included Nigel Farage, Theresa May and Rishi Sunak. This year’s celebrity puppets have yet to be announced but I reckon a certain former US President could be among them.

Hopefully, Trump’s own plans will also go up in flames three days from now.