Luke The Nuke will blow SPOTY opposition out of the water - Vladimir McTavish


At the tender age of sixteen, Luke “The Nuke” has shaken the entire world of sport with his run to the final of the World Darts Championship. He may have lost, but to be world number two is no mean feat just months after taking his GCSEs.
Much of the media attention around young Luke centres on the fact that he is not even old enough to drink in the pubs where the game is traditionally played.
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Hide AdIndeed, this highlights what is the lad’s greatest achievement. Namely that he was ever able to play darts at all.
I have never knowingly played a game of arrows in anywhere other than an establishment licensed to sell alcohol. Indeed, most darts players I know claim to be better on the oche after a couple of pints. More than that, it is actually possible to play the sport when barely sober enough to stand up.
The best darts match I’ve seen was in a pub in Leith on the day Hibs won the 2007 League Cup. Most of the clientele in the bar had been drinking all day, including an old guy who had fallen asleep underneath the dart board. This did not deter four equally- steaming drinkers from playing a game of doubles. Remarkably, they all managed to avoid hitting the bloke.
Legends of the game such as the crafty cockney Eric Bristow were routinely seen with a pint in one hand, their darts in another and a fag hanging from their lips.
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Hide AdWhile much has been made of The Nuke’s rise to such heady heights in his chosen sport, little has been made of his equally remarkable achievement of managing to look like a forty-year-old bloke. It takes some talent to look like Jocky Wilson when you’re barely halfway through his teens. Although at least young Luke still has a full mouth of teeth.
We still have eleven months to go, but my money is already on Luke The Nuke to win BBC’s Sports Personality of the Year for 2024. Once he is old enough to start drinking and smoking, goodness knows how talented this boy can become.